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Greentea
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26 Feb 2009, 10:04 am

I arrived here after 45 years of search for like-minded anyone anywhere. I've been on WP for 2 years and I still feel that this is the best and only home possible for me. Therefore, I'm extremely curious about those who, like me, came across WP after years of search, and then left. Where do they go? What kind of place is it that they feel more at home than here?

I mainly ask this today because in the last week I've noticed many members I was used to seeing all the time have left or stopped posting or taken a vacation or are simply not here. I come in and see almost all new members... I really miss a lot of people here. I'm not sure mentioning names would be well received, so I'll refrain.

Where could one possibly go after WrongPlanet?


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whitetiger
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26 Feb 2009, 10:07 am

I love this website. I was on it once and left because I was confused by trying to follow so many threads. This time, I came back and asked about it and found out easier ways to do that, including checking my latest posts, etc.



sue88
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26 Feb 2009, 10:12 am

That is a sad line of reasoning.
I am new here and only just learned about Aspergers and why I have always been different. I think WrongPlanet is a great place to chat with the community that we fully belong to. But, I think a lot of people get involved with their lives and may neglect spending as much time with other aspies. Some of your friends will probably come back eventually. It's good that there is always some people here to talk even if they are not always the same.



Sora
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26 Feb 2009, 10:21 am

I don't think anybody feels as if this is 'home' here though. Or feels as if belonging here despite feeling comfortable. Which makes it far easier for these some people to come and go, even if they have not found a place that fits them better.


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Vulcan
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26 Feb 2009, 10:34 am

WP is like Hotel California :lol:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGNuxLvCgcY&feature=related[/youtube]



Greentea
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26 Feb 2009, 10:39 am

From what I've seen, obviously it's not.


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demeus
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26 Feb 2009, 12:23 pm

Yes, there is life after Wrongplanet and many people leave for many reasons. Some may leave because their questions got answered and they are moving on with life. Some may leave because they figure out that they are not on the spectrum. Some may leave because of either overload or because they are coming to the site too much and it is affecting other areas of their life. Some may leave because they go mad at something posted. Some may be banned as a result of something they posted. Some may leave because they do not like how things are being run. Some may leave because they do not approve of the politics of the site (and believe me, there are politics here).

All forums and boards are ever changing with new users coming in and old users going out (that is why the membership number is really misleading).



Padium
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26 Feb 2009, 12:32 pm

Vulcan wrote:
WP is like Hotel California :lol:


I love that song, but I don't see the comparison.



Greentea
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26 Feb 2009, 12:33 pm

You're right, demeus. But several people who were posting intensively until about a week ago have disappeared. Besides, it's not like Aspies have so many other options - I mean most of us have a really hard time fitting in anywhere else.


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sbcmetroguy
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26 Feb 2009, 12:42 pm

Greentea,

I can't speak for anyone else but I had gotten to where I was posting very regularly, many posts per day. What happened with me was that one of my obsessions/vices came back into my life: the video game, World of Warcraft. For months I have wanted to get the expansion but we were going through a rough time financially and I decided against it. I also dropped my subscription to save the $15/month. But as soon as my wife told me I could buy it, I jumped on the chance and that is where I spend almost all my time now. I do read WP daily, though, and sometimes I will even switch back and forth while flying somewhere or when a quest gets boring, and I will just read WP.

I do feel welcome and at home here at WP, but I unfortunately feel compelled to level my gnome rogue from 70-80 and then to experience the rest of the new features of the game.

So anyway, like I said I can't speak for others, but that is what has happened with me. I know if I ever don't see the name 'Greentea' around here, I will feel out of place.



Acacia
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26 Feb 2009, 12:58 pm

Greentea wrote:
Where could one possibly go after WrongPlanet?

Excellent thread.
I think there are several levels of activity going on with this idea.

First, who can possibly understand the internet habits of the thousands of members on this site? Many people seem to be here consistently at certain times. Others seem totally random. I myself am usually here in the later evening, unless I have access during the day, like I do right now. Furthermore, while right now I feel moved to check posts here on a daily basis, it hasn't always been that way, and will not be that way in the future.

I've come and gone on various sites and forums based on my needs, which were the reasons I was there in the first place. When I was a teenager and yearned for peer-identification, I ended up on the Hipforums. Now I cringe at going to that site. Two years ago, when I was convinced that "Depersonalization" was the root of my problems, I was constantly on forums related to that. My perspective on this trait changed, and I don't go to those forums anymore. When I came across WrongPlanet, I was skeptical at first, but as I understood more about AS, I saw the absolute necessity of these forums. I've been here nearly every day since, with some small breaks in between.

Being that AS is still very new to me, and I am trying to unravel the previous 27 years through this new framework, I can see myself being on WP for a couple of years. Over time, as I reconcile the place AS occupies in my life, WP will likely fade in importance to me. That would be because it no longer addresses my current needs. In the future, I hope to understand AS well enough where discussing it is not a pressing concern to me.

I have nothing at all against this online community. Indeed, I feel welcomed and safe here. However, I would like to integrate what I have learned here into my life, and be as successful as I can in the "real world". That would be the next step for me. WP is part of my preparation to make that step.


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Greentea
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26 Feb 2009, 1:00 pm

sbcmetroguy, thank you very much for sharing from your personal experience!!

sbcmetroguy wrote:
I know if I ever don't see the name 'Greentea' around here, I will feel out of place.


That is exactly what I've been feeling these days, hardly finding any posts by the names of glider, sartresue, millie, neshamaruach, acacia, canyonwind, spokane_girl, marshall, mozes, annabanana, xxxAnaxxx, Warsie, LePetitPrince, and so many others.

Sorry to name names, but I'm going through a very hard time in my life and I'm very vulnerable to the idea of people vanishing. My mom died a week ago :(


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Last edited by Greentea on 26 Feb 2009, 1:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Liverbird
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26 Feb 2009, 1:01 pm

I fluctuate. I spend tons of time on WP and then some other obsession will creep in and start eating up all of my time. Then I get lonely, and came back. I go in spurts.


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mitharatowen
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26 Feb 2009, 1:01 pm

Acacia wrote:
Two years ago, when I was convinced that "Depersonalization" was the root of my problems

Wow, me too! lol



mitharatowen
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26 Feb 2009, 1:03 pm

I still see most of those people around, Greentea! Maybe your schedules just aren't coinciding well with theirs. I do wonder about neshamaruach, though. I don't recall seeing her in a long time :?

-edit- as for me... Well I sometimes would like to leave for several reasons. 1. I don't get enough work done. 2. I post too much here and that definately must be annoying to the rest of the members and I don't want to annoy people 3. I sometimes will rub someone the wrong way and cause them to get angry at me and I hate doing this and it makes me feel like I should just withdraw from everything to avoid upsetting anyone.

But I keep coming back here because I like it here, I need to be able to express myself and I need socialization and this is really the only place that I can have that. I really really like being here.. so I'm really sorry if I'm bothering anyone by my presence :?



Greentea
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26 Feb 2009, 1:13 pm

Acacia, we posted at the same time. I understand what you mean, and I suppose now that, for many or most, WP is mostly a phase in understanding and learning, rather than a community. The needs and goals are different.

Mitharatowen, I've seen a post here and there by some of those members, but nothing like the usual intensity, and it seems to have happened all at once... About your edit: you don't post too much and you're not provocative, I'm surprised that you feel that way.


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