Is it unusual not to feel the need of belonging?

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Often, having my way is more important to me than the need to personally connect to the majority of the population.

I used to be like that, but now I find myself trying to connect with more and more people.

I think I'm more isolated than most but I do have a strong desire to belong. It's just sometimes I have a greater desire to be alone.

Not weird, no. It's called "being introverted".

belonging always seems like the wrong word, means to me like being "owned".

I think it's weird when my friend says to someone "I belong to ... a group or club",
instead of "I joined ..." or "I am a member of ...".

edit: (answer to OP)
Some times I preferred being alone, other times I longed for company.

i thought u meant spending time with others and talking to em

otherwise following ur interests makes sense in general

Yes. Most people want to feel like they 'belong' somewhere.

You want to connect to the majority of the population? Tell me you're not serious...I appear to have many working braincells..I don't want to lose them dumbing myself down for their approval...

I don't find it unusual. I prefer to be alone, and have always been this way.

The exceptions are with my husband and my kids. One I chose because he makes me come alive, the others...Well, anyone who says aspies can't feel love for their offspring are full of it

I've noted within my own life that although I'm capable of "connecting" with others, it's an experience I do only rarely. More often, people seem to seek me out for friendship, and I'm baffled. I also have difficulty retaining affection for friends. More often than not, I walk away without a word.,,For months or years at a time. It's not like there's anything wrong, I just prefer personal solace to being around others.

I learned to do the whole "social function" thing out of necessity, when my mother would push me into the debutante circuit and try to get me to mingle. It caused such an all-out rebellion, though. I despise the clubs she's in, and I really don't see the point of congregating in that respect.

After years of being rejected, I learned to go it alone.

However, I do long for connections to other people, so I suppose it's a bit of both.

I learned to be comfortable in my own space and know that, if necessary, it was enough.

I suppose the best analogy is how NT people foolishly think that getting married will make them complete.

Get married because you happen to find someone you want to spend your life with...not because you feel incomplete unless you are married. If you can't love yourself, what makes you think adding another person will solve the problem?

Honestly, this is very often exactly how I feel. I just avoid saying it, for fear of giving the impression of narcissism. I know a guy with a LOT of aspergers traits, I can garauntee you he's never been assessed, but in my opinion, he too would identify exactly with how you feel. I've often been puzzled trying to figure him out, usually from a far (due to his inability or desire to keep almost everything to himself) and I've often wondered if he's Aspergers, or if he's a narcissistic introvert. The two of us don't get along very well at all, which I believe is due to his narcissist qualities.

i do not want to "belong" anywhere else than where i live.
i live far from others in my mind, but i belong where i settled a long time ago.

i certainly do not want to "belong" in other peoples worlds, or they will include me in their list of "belongings". i hate the "heat" of other peoples attention, and i do not like their expectations.
they hope for different things than i hope for always.
i am glad i do not belong where i do not want to be.

but i am kind of sad that no one belongs near me.

i am tired and this is my last shabby post for this evening.

I don't feel the need to belong, but people are needed to make things happen, and if I know I need to push myself to be around people daily as much as possible so I don't loose my social skills.

I don't want to feel completely alienated and misunderstood by everyone around me, but I don't feel the need to "fit in" in a conformist sort of way.

Occasionally I feel the need to fit in. So I start hanging out with "friends"(people I know). Then I remember how much people suck so I go back to hanging out with my "girlfriend"(computer).

Last edited by kalantir on 07 Mar 2009, 8:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Being a rebel bordering on being a punk rocker, I'd rather have it my way, than conform to the majority.