Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

LuckyBunny
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2008
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 141
Location: London, UK

04 Mar 2009, 8:20 pm

I wanted some way of making a tribute to somebody I've never met, but who I consider to be my best friend. I decided I would do that right here, for others to have the opportunity to share similar stories.

Over a year ago, I came into contact with an interesting and mysterious woman, on another forum. Each post she made delivered exactly the right blend of directness and wit to captivate my interest. At that time I had a suspicion of having AS, but would avoid thinking about it, and didn't really know much. I just wanted to fit in in life, and couldn't accept any idea that it might not happen.

Through talking with my friend, we gradually got closer, until one day she asked me directly if I had heard of AS. I was a little puzzled, but answered truthfully, mentioning a suspicion that stemmed from a psychologist report 3 years ago. She went on to explain that she had noticed some things, in my manner online, but also in a video I had sent, and also that AS was present in her immediate family. Of course, I felt a little insecure, and put my defenses up.

Over the past year, we have become so much closer, and she has single handedly brought me to accept myself for everything I am (she seems to know only my best side), and to know there's always somebody who cares, even if they are 7,000 miles away. It is this self-confidence that has driven me to research AS, to have come here, and to not just roll over and accept the diagnosis I had last month (result - NT), when I know it is wrong.

Without her, I would still be trying desperately to deny and disprove myself, and would still be wondering why I'm not the same as most people, despite already knowing the answer. I don't know how she did it, but she has given me the strength I needed to do all of these things myself.

- Just by being a friend. A true friend.

Does anyone else have friends like these? Please share..



sbwilson
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2009
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 187

04 Mar 2009, 10:38 pm

That is a great story, everyone could benefit from an encouraging friend like that. Someone who not only accepts you for who you are, but encourages you to be just that.

I have a friend that I met through work. We didn't bond right off the hop, she's quite NT, but over time I came to see the odd/quirky side of her that makes her the person I admire today.
She allows me to be silly beyond belief when we hang out & joins in the fun.
She allows me vent/rage about how disgusted I am with humanity any day after work on our drive home. (I give her a lift)
When we paint together, it consists of the two of us alone at her place, music cranked (most often Dave Matthews as they've been my musical obsession for nearly a decade ....AND, she NEVER tires of listening to the same songs we've heard a million times) ...we takes turns bellowing out our invented lyrics to our highly creative DMB parodies, then we laugh till our stomachs ache at the thought of what her neighbours would think if they heard us.
She's witnessed me in numerous meltdown situations, including but not limited to anger/rage & sheer panic.
I can still remember one of the first times we hung out after work, we had an in depth discussion of how aggravating it is when you agree to hang out with someone once, and they take that as an open invitation to call you all the time, and further more expect you to be their 'new best friend'... we analyzed how typically people assume that if they haven't heard from you in two weeks, you must not be their friend anymore. We discussed how tiring it is to almost feel fake when dealing with people.
I knew from that day, that she was a perfect fit for me as a friend.

She doesn't judge me for the things I do or say when acting on impulse, yet she reminds me that it will be ME holding myself accountable in the end.

She makes fun of how I chew the inside of my cheek whenever I'm thinking, which knowing how much we all think gives you a clear idea of how often I do it, I'm doing it right now actually... and by making fun, I mean making light of it, not demeaning me for it... like another woman at work who comes up behind me saying "I know you're hungry, but it's only 20 minutes until lunch" then laughs her obnoxious laugh like she's a freakin comedian.

And, she laughs at the look on my face when someone tries to give me a hug.

She not only deals with how annoying, awkward & plain bizarre I can be, she thoroughly enjoys it.

That's made me a better person, and for that, I thank her.



Greentea
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,745
Location: Middle East

05 Mar 2009, 12:03 pm

All my friends were special and taught me important lessons and contributed greatly to my insight. I wouldn't give them any credit for it, though, as they all ended up betraying me or abandoning me with the "beenbusy" lie. I'd call "special" a friend who treated me like a human being for the duration of my life, not only for the duration of their interest in our relating.


_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.