Neurotypicals and what they define as appropriate

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NT idea of appropriate = Everyone is doing it
NT idea of inappropriate = Only few are doing it


This is why they often BLAME a person who happens to announce an unpopular truth or a person who fights back against several people at once. According to them, if you don't have a high status, you should be subordinate to them. It baffles their mind that there would actually be a person who cares more about personal justice as opposed to group dynamics.

I couldn't agree more. I am happy not to have the major problems neurotypicals do. I'm happy I can be true to my own ethics and principles! (It does cause major problems in life though-hard to keep a job-functioning problems result.)

This drives me NUTS!! ! Especially at my work. For example, I do line work, general labour... I was offered to train to be a machine operator, my boss said "If you like drinking coffee & reading the newspaper, this job will be perfect..." Of course I'm logical enough to know that he was really down playing it, but I was very excited at the idea of making 9$ more an hour, and even a little bit excited that someone would consider me a good fit for the responsibility. The whole month of training consisted of me trying to learn from someone who was very NT. She made me feel good that 'no question was a stupid question'. However, the more I asked, the more flustered she seemed that there were certain parts I just didn't get. On top of it, her daughter, our other machine operator, outwardly showed 'jealousy' that her mom, her best & only friend, was spending so much time with me. No one seems to get that the more information I have, the better I'll do. They were frustrated with the fact that when they referred to machine parts as "this thingy" or "that knob over there" that I just couldn't connect the dots. Anyway, I survived the training period.... with no notes from them, or reference material, and I struggled on to do the job for a year after that. At this point, knowing that I'm a visual learner, I asked my boss if he'd mind if I took home the machines manual for a weekend, I figured the more I could study it, the better off I'd be in some situations. Long story short, he laughed in my face, like I was some geek who had nothing better in her life to do, than study a 2 inch thick manual. I walked away, and later that day he came to me with the book. I took it, but I was already so discouraged that I decided not to bother reading it. When I went back in, I told him to find someone else to do the job. I just couldn't understand how the person asking for help was laughed at, meanwhile the NT's jumping to false led conclusions, and making the work day take at times 3 hours longer than it needed to, was more widely accepted.

I have to keep in mind that this is the same boss who's said to new people being trained by me, "be careful, she's bipolar!".... and why? Because I didn't just idly agree to go along with the way things were. To him I'd like to say "I don't get depressed, I DO get frustrated. I don't get manic, I DO try to stand up for things that don't make sense." I don't try to cause waves, I hate when I'm the focus of attention, but I won't follow the group mentality of anything if it doesn't make logical sense to do so.

kind of. But I would point out that there is an exception. People who are considered "Cool" are trend setters. Certain people, when they do something that no one else is doing, it makes the majority want to do it to imitate them. So for them being different is actually something that helps them socially.

I think a lot of it comes down to attitude. If some one does something different, but they do it in a very confident way, and that person acts as if they believe that the different thing they are doing is what everyone else is supposed to be doing then they can often "get away with it."

I think it is often less about what you actually do, and more about your "showmanship" in how you present it. In a way we have more in common with the "cool" trendsetters than a majority of the people who follow along. We are willing to make our own rules. The only difference is we have to work harder to learn how to sell it.

I agree. Less about what you actually do and more about the confidence with which you do it...or how you present it.

Confidence for NTs is all tied up with status in the pecking order. For us who don't do well with the ranking rituals or who refuse to be a team player in the pecking order...clear well-defined boundaries are essential. Such boundaries go a long way towards enabling self confidence where it is lacking. Making no demands on people is helpful too.

I think many spectrumites have to march to the beat of their own drum. We are pioneers. Not leaders. Pioneers. We go where no man has gone before, like Star Trek.