Being treated like a child

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Since my mum has learned about my Asperger's she's been thinking I don't understand things.

Example 1: My dog was crying at the back door, so I let her in. My mum goes off on me and says ' do you understand the vet is coming over?" Yes I knew that I just let the dog in to finish the food that the cats didn't eat.

Example 2: She was saying my money didn't go into my bank. Then she said 'oh I don't think you understand how it's done."

I'm getting so f***king sick of this!

My dad's the same way...and same thing since I was diagnosed.

He repeats himself constantly about "Are you sure you did this or did that?"

If I show any sign of anger, it just gets worse.

With me, I try to handle business myself without letting him know. I'm not so sure about your mother. It's not easy bringing these issues up with "adults" and I am an adult.

your parents are always going to treat you like a child, like you are not adequate, like you are doing something wrong. in the winter, my grandmother always says "jeff, where's your clothes?" like you do not think of going out like that in that weather? or for instance when we are all going out shopping, my mom will be dressed up in shoes and ready to head out the door and my grandma will say "look at her, she dressed up already?" in a very SARCASTIC and emotionally abusive way. like my grandmother also calls me and my dad a "jack ass" and also "again! like always, jeff, you say the randomest things and mess it up." parents and grandparents just have a tendency to be emotionally and verbally abusive as opposed to nurturing and encouraging.

p.s. this makes me doubt whether i should ever come out as an AS to my family. they are all in denial.

My mother still tries to parent me over the phone.

Well, I have seen both sides of this issue. When my father was still living, he always cautioned me to "be careful" when we ended a telephone conversation, even after I was middle aged. It invariably irritated me no end. As if I hadn't the sense to be careful unless he told me to.

I found myself doing this to my own daughter who is in her mid-twenties. (Not to make excuses for parents who are downright insulting and invalidating,) I found it hard to stop being so closely involved in the life of an individual that I was directly responsible for, for so many years. My father probably felt the same way.

I learned to see my father's statement as a way of him expressing his continuing love and support of me, instead of as an insult. As for my own daughter, I have backed off and try only to advise her if she asks for me to. Sometimes, it takes having your own child to see how hard it can be not to come across insulting, when it wasn't meant.

it makes me when my parents and other people do that.

One thing that really gets on my nerves is when she thinks I've made a mistake when really she's the one that was wrong.

Every freaken day I leave the house, at least that is what it seems like!! ! My whole life people ether treat me like a kid or act like I am stupid. I often wounder if I have some sort of look to me or something. Like I am making a funny face or something, like people look at me and instantly think I have a low IQ. The worst are the ones that treat you like they would a 3 year old. It really gets on my nerves when people dumb things down for me and especially when I cant verbally tell them I am not stupid. I cant even imagine walking around with a communication device, if I happen to get one the first thing I am putting in is my IQ score, so I would be ready to tell them! (sure they still wont understand)
It is funny, because I go to the races and no one notices, I am just another racer.
I stop by the grocery store, people are thinking I must have wondered off, asking if I need help finding my mommy. (well I made that last part up, but it sure feels like it)

It's a major pet peeve of mine, and I even quit volunteering at a school for special needs children because I got sick of being talked to as if I was one of the preschool students I worked with as an aide.

oh yeah... I know that feeling... I'm the younger of two siblings, and I get treated completely different than my sister... I find both my Dad and my Mom assuming that they have to say something more than once to me when they ask me to take care of a chore. It makes it... frustrating to listen to them due to the fact that I just get.... well... sick of them believeing that they need to repeat themselves, as if I didn't get it the first time... which I always do.

They're obviously neaive and quite ignorant even if they don't mean it intentionally, they should get some leaflets and should probably talk to a professional that specializes in AS, it isn't fair to be treated like you can't do anything, then again you could turn around to your parents and say 'I think you'll find I have more interlect than you so please don't patranize me'

(:

My parents don't treat me like a child.
I get treated as being young a lot by other people; I think it's caused by a couple of factors:
: I look younger than I am.
: A lot of the people who I associate with are a few decades older than I am (for example, many of the members of my orchestra).

Explain to her why you do things, which will prove her wrong; I've found that people with AS tend not to explain themselves completely, and this can make "NTs" assume that you don't know what's happening/what you're doing. I'm not saying that you do this, but your mother's reaction is typical of people who don't know the full story.

LFA (27), and I'm not treated like a child. Even though I don't explain many, many things adequately to my mother (I can interact with her well), I show that I'm competent in what I do, so she has no reason to doubt me.

When "bad things" happen, I'm the first person she turns to (if I'm not already in the midst of it), as I know what to do.

Even in the things I can't do, she doesn't treat me like a child, rather, she knows that it's just a skill I don't have.

also my coworkers often look at my aspie face and say "jeff, are you OK?" like i always look depressed or lost or something

I had people talk to me as if I am a child before I was diagnosed so with that I see no difference.

My mother and my mother-in-law both treat me like a child. It doesn't exactly make me want to tell them that I have Asperger's syndrome, because I'm sure they would just treat me even more like a child. I'm already keeping contact with them to a minimum and I don't tell them much about events in my life, because they always seem to think I can't handle things on my own and try to control me. It drives me nuts.