INPUT PLEASE! Possible Asperger's.

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Hello all. I am the mother of a gorgeous 4 year old named Jackson. As of recently, his teachers and have developed concerns that Jackson may have Asperger's Syndrome. I have read extensively on it, and am skeptical because all the cases I read about seem more severe than Jackson. He has many of the signs, but not all. I want input from you other parents. What do you see in your own children, and what is your opinion on mine? I'll tell you all I can about him, and I'm aware that there are likely no doctors on here. Please just go off of your experiences and be honest.

Jackson has always been very particular about his clothes and food. He can't tolerate tags on his shirts, or tighter/elastic cuffs at the bottom of sweatshirts or sweatpants. Seams on socks are an issue, and he often wears them inside out to avoid the discomfort the seams cause him. He is an incredibly picky eater and won't eat anything that doesn't "feel right".

He is incredibly smart and his memory surpasses any I've ever seen. You can read him a book once and he can recite it back to you with little error. His verbal communication is exemplary, his grammar perfect, and his vocabulary unrivaled by any child I've seen up through the 4th or 5th grade.

He has "meltdowns" when he can't handle what's going on. Ex: At school today, he was sitting doing puzzles before the other kids came in. When they did, they were loud and brushing up against him. He collapsed in tears after a few seconds of pandemonium. He has to have a blanket over his head in the car to block the sun from his eyes. He can't stand it. He also doesn't want to be touched by anyone he isn't very familiar with, but is very loving and affectionate toward family members.

He walks up on his toes, and his fine motor is a bit behind where it should be. He has very little nonverbal communication skills. He doesn't understand most facial expressions or body language and is constantly interrupting. However, he uses facial expressions when he talks. One of the signs of Asperger's is no use of facial expression or gestures. Jackson does both, although they may not always be appropriate for the situation.

He is also very a very "difficult" child. He is emotional, moody, and easily upset by minor things. He'll often be sitting watching a movie and all of a sudden burst into tears. His reason is often, "I miss my Nini, but if I go see her, I'll miss you, Mommy!"

He does have particular interests, but not to the severe extent I have read of. The memorizing on train schedules and such is never something we've dealt with. His current fascination is with his Nintendo DS. He is awesome at it, and will be so involved in the game that he'll sit on the couch and play and pee in his pants and not even realize it. Obviously, this makes me absolutely livid.

I am not opposed to my son being diagnosed with such a disorder, and I understand that it doesn't at all change who he is. I just want to see if other people agree with the signs and symptoms of Asperger's that he exhibits. Thank you so much for all of your input on our situation!

Seems like Asperger syndrome to me.

Your son's teacher's concerns are very well grounded. What you describe is consistent with AS and sufficient grounds (in my view) to seek assessment. It's best to know with certitude one way or another.

Yup. Seems like a pretty typical Aspie/gifted combo. (May not be overall giftedness, but the memory and the vocab seem to be specific talents at the very least. Make sure he's got the chance to develop them. The kid could make really good use of them.) He might benefit from extra help with stuff like transitions and social interaction, but he already seems to have a great deal of insight. At his age, I would simply have known that I was uncomfortable and getting more annoyed by the second--I'd never have connected it to socks or sunlight. It took me years to learn that.

You are probably reading some of the extreme stereotypes--and rightly understanding that they don't apply to your son. I don't think I've ever met more than a couple of Aspies (out of hundreds I've read posts from on online forums) who actually did memorize bus schedules. He's a kid, not a walking diagnosis! People don't get that a lot of the time, and chances are you'll have to pound it into their heads more than once over the next few years, until he learns to do it himself. Simply put: Autistic people are people and they're as varied as any other group of people; probably more so. The diagnosis doesn't tell you what any given one will be like; and they won't even all have the same symptoms, or expressed in the exact same way.

Sounds like he has a really strong sensory component. Try to find work-arounds so he doesn't have to be exposed to the sensory input that floods him so easily. Cutting out tags is good; have you thought about wrap-around sunglasses for the car, or are they uncomfortable to wear for him? Seamless socks aren't quite seamless but they go a long way... Minimize overload and he'll have more reserves to work with when there's no choice but to face something overwhelming.

Pointers:
If it turns out your son needs extra help, don't let them say your son is either "too smart" to need help or "too disabled" to be challenged to use his talents.
Get prepared to fight the school system. You're going to have an atypical learner on your hands whether he's got some type of autism or not, and that means the cookie-cutter school system isn't going to match what he needs.
Make sure he can tell you anything, because sooner or later there's going to be problems with bullying, abuse, prejudice, etc.
Make sure he knows you love him, including loving his differences, and that you think he is just fine the way he is.
Clue him in if he's got a diagnosis--he deserves to know why he's different.
Make sure he's got lots of opportunities to do what he's good at. Set him up for success. Let him use those talents--they're what'll get him a job later on!

Oh... uh, the peeing in the pants thing... He mightn't be able to help it; it's rather easy to forget to use the toilet when you are only four and you are absolutely obsessed with something. I haven't done this since I was little, but I've come close; it gets to the point that I've been having to go for a couple of hours before I manage to tear myself away from whatever I'm doing. The problem is that you can't figure out how to stop what you're doing, generally; so you just keep on doing it and eventually you just need to go badly enough that you have an accident. That could be compounded by an inability to judge whether or not you have to go at all. So... yeah, it might be a better idea to make him use the toilet before he starts playing, and then make sure to get him to stop after a few hours so he can go again... That could be difficult for him--stopping what he's doing--but it's probably yards better than having your mom disappointed because you wet the couch...

Sounds like a typical Aspie, insofar as any individual can be typical.

Congratulations, you have a very special little boy!

It definitely seems like your son has a lot of the symptoms of Aspergers. Most certainly enough to warrant an assessment. As for advice you must have patience. That more than anything else will be what he needs. As for the pants wetting thing he is only four. When he is obsessing just make sure he is going every few hours. I'm a gamer and when I play everything else has a tendency to fall away so I can see where he would have trouble. In the end even with a diagnoses nothing really changes. But at least he will have the advantage of knowing from an early age where I wasn't diagnosed until 19. But that's life .

I was highly verbal and gifted, had normal facial expressions, etc. but I also did a lot of what you describe your son is doing. Esp. the toewalking part makes me think AS. Sensitivity to clothing could be AS, but some people with ADD also report that the clothing tags drive them crazy too.

There is hardly anyone here obsessed with the weather or train schedules. We just have persistent, obsessive interests, whether they are pc games or recipe collecting.

ill just add to the flood of response.

sounds like aspie to me.

about the obsessions, ive fallen right into one of the "classic" examples; dinosaurs, especially as a kid. as an adult, i fanatically collect all facts i can, but i recognize the gameplaying. i dunno why it is, but.. i play games it a "chapter" kind of way, i need to find a lull moment in the game itself, where i can save, and quit. not cus the game requires it, but cus i need it to, so i will often "have to" finish playing, even if only to find a nice spot to place my character.

now, im all grown up, ive done a lot of learning, so if hes young, he may have a "unchecked" similar play pattern, fanatically playing up intill certain points, to such an extent he just "cannot" save and quit, before reaching there?