Rewards and punishments for things you can't help

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I hate institutions (like the Judge Rotenberg Center) and parents (like JRC parents) that reward and punish people for behaviors that they can't help, or saying they'll reward someone if they do something they can't do or punish them for not doing it. When I see this happening to Aspies, or anyone, it makes me feel so sick.

IMHO they treat people the way some tame unruly dogs (even worse, they don't use electric shocks on dogs anymore). The fact the these are disabled people makes it even more revolting and sad.

It's no good way to train a dog, either. The dog will just get fearful and possibly fear-aggressive.

I wonder how the torture works on those kids because it sure gets them to behave and all and it stops them from acting all violent and stuff and doing things they don't want them to do.

Anyone know the answer?

When you get scared enough, you'll do anything to survive--including being supportive of the people who are mistreating you.

The effects of torture can often be a paradoxical bond with the very people who are abusing you (cf. Stockholm Syndrome). It's basically an effort to keep the abuser happy in order to save yourself. And part of that bond can be agreeing with the abuser: "Yes, they're doing this for my own good. I'm grateful to them. They saved my life."

I've seen it... it ain't pretty. It usually takes years to break out of later, if you ever do. Some people unconsciously find new abusers after the original situation ends.

It's a matter of doing what you've got to do to stay alive.

What's the JRC??

Okay, that sounds very smart so it makes us control our behavior. I have been there because I was ridiculed in my school for being weird and all. So I did my best to be "normal." Home was heaven for me where I could be myself so I suppose those kids are back to themselves when they come home.


I also hate being yelled at, always had so as a kid, I would watch other kids and when they get yelled at, I knew not to do X or I get a yelling at too. I had at least two friends who had mothers that yelled and screamed at them so I didn't do what they did that gave them a yelling.

JRC - Judge Rotenberg Center
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judge_Rote ... nal_Center

Some parents are happy with the way their children are treated:

Sorry Gina, I was reading the link myself

Before I had heard of AS, my son, who was about 4, began doing some really weird things. A lot of it was stuff that is inappropriate (because it causes problems for other people), or dangerous. At first, I tried to deal with it in a traditional way, with time-outs for bad behavior and rewards for good behavior.

It really confused me, though, because none of those consequences worked. I offered to buy him a toy that he REALLY wanted if he would simply avoid doing some strange behavior. I don't remember what the behavior was, but it was something socially unacceptable, and it was important for him to learn to NOT do it. But he kept doing it anyway, and getting more and more frustrated at not getting the toy.

I started to think maybe he couldn't help what he was doing, but I had never heard of such a thing. All the people that I talked to, and all the books that I read, said that I should just keep at it, because it was him doing a "power struggle." But I couldn't figure out WHY he was doing a power struggle. It made no sense, because it didn't fit with his personality.

When I FINALLY learned about AS, it was like a huge weight off my shoulders. I KNEW that was what was going on with him, and I immediately changed my way of dealing with him. It made such a difference for both of us.

So, I think, if a parent or authority figure know about the kid's AS, then they need to know not to punish for things the kid can't control. That's very important. If they don't understand AS (and most people don't), it's very difficult sometimes to really understand that the kid (or adult) can't control what they are doing the same way an NT can, and shouldn't be disciplined the same way.

And people wonder why government officials who want to do the same thing to all people get elected: because NTs LOVE AUTHORITARIANS! Authoritarians--and anyone else who practices outside the realm of reason--are all, when you get down to it, working what they do based on FEELING AND EMOTION, and anti-reason...the area NTs thrive in.