ASD Families. Describe your family.

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my family of origin was very strange. Growing up, my family was eccentric, and now i know we were quite autistic. strange pursuits, very individuaised ways of thinking and being in the world, cut off from the wider society and neighbourhood, executive dysfunction problems.

How many people are on the spectrum in your family?
what was it like growing up?
or if you are still growing up, what is it like?

Did or does your family exhibit a fair number of autistic traits?

In our family of four, we believe the AS to be as follows:

Father - undiagnosed AS; mild
Mother (me) - some AS traits, but probably not actual AS; AS father undiagnosed
Son - diagnosed AS; mild
Daughter - assumed to be NT

So, what are we like? Very quiet mostly. Not that social. Involved in the community, eager to do our part and volunteer, very good at what we do and respected for it, but not particularly "close" to anyone. My husband doesn't really see all sides to it, like the respect, and he feels a bit left out, but I see it. I know he is well respected and liked, as are my kids. I honestly believe that our being "left out" is in large part our own doing - we never invite anyone over, and so no one invites us. That sort of thing. And I'm OK with it; my husband is much more conflicted. My son is content; my daughter gets frustrated that I don't make more playdates for her.

And I am a horrible, horrible housekeeper, lol. But, then again, I have a pacer (my son) who wreaks everything as soon as I get it all perfect anyway. That poor housekeeping also keeps us from inviting people over ...

Neither of my kids care about fashion. My son dresses in a very clean and classic look, and my daughter thinks of herself as an "artist" and dresses full of paint stains and unique combinations caring only that she is comfortable.

We have a lot of fun. My husband has a wicked sense of humor and very few people ever get to see it. But our kids see it everyday, and dinner can be a wonderful time because of it. We're always behind on our life and wondering how other people manage it all, but we've got decent jobs, the kids get good grades and by all measures we're doing fine. Just nothing fancy or splashy. And maybe a good amount of quirky to the outside eye - I have no way of knowing THAT, lol.

Well actually nobody in my family seems to have ASD. My mum is quite shy and spent time alone at school, and my dad is very intelligent if any of that makes a difference.

I'm the only aspie in my family, all the rest are NTs. Although it can feel quite lonely for me.

I'm the only person in my family with the diagnosis. However my dad has given indications that I am in many respects a carbon-copy of my grandfather and great-grandfather. Indeed, what he actually said in regards to my grandfather when I was pursuing diagnosis was, "If you have it then your granddad has it."

He told me that granddad has a very rigid routine and about how he rarely socialises with anyone not accomodated in the routine. I don't know enough to give a valid judgement, and of course considering both his age and the era in which he grew up, he wouldn't show many outward signs anyway, assuming he did have it.

About my great-grandfather, my dad told me he was brilliant at mathematics (which is interesting as an independant fact anyway considering he can't have had much education). Another story he told me was that he worked as a farmhand, and that if a coworker said anything foolish during the year, he would remember it and leave with his family after the harvest. This intolerance of foolishness is, I'm ashamed to say, something I have inherited.

Now, to say about my dad: he is something of a trivia repository and has some social difficulty (not much but it's there and I know he was worse when he was younger). He certainly isn't a "clear case", but I could imagine easily imagine I got it through his line. All of the above is speculation though, but I find it interesting.

My dad has some AS traits but hasn't been diagnosed but my mum and sister are NTs so therefore im the only one who has AS in the family.

My mom probably has undiagnosed AS, my father is NT, my sister is NT, but my maternal grandfather could have some traits of AS... Anyway, I got dx'ed w/a mild variant of AS.

My father, possibly his mother, and possibly one of my brothers. The others all have scattered autistic traits.



It was very bizarre at times; at other times, it was ordinary. Any autistic traits will be contained in the description.

My father was emotionally distant and participated only as observer. He'd do very odd things. One example: walking down a street with me, he suddenly ran off ahead, flailing his limbs. He stopped at a large skip at the side of the road, where he proceded to rummage through all the garbage. He would shut himself away with hobbies whenever possible and paint and hoard junk (mainly machines). He'd work with famous actors (operating studio equipment), but have no interest in them as such, only as the people they actually were. We'd share interests sometimes, such as art, but mostly keep to ourselves.

My mother was very eccentric. Her special interests have mostly involved famous people, such as musicians. She takes them so far sometimes that she's been known to watch the same film every day for months or end up in the national news. If she becomes obsessed with a new release, she'll go and view it at the cinema till it's no longer shown and will sit on the edge of her seat rocking and bouncing with excitement throughout. She was always extremely high strung, emotional, had plenty of meltdowns, and was always ill with anxiety. She had unusual friends and one day I heard her planning to run away with a dancer. She couldn't stand my interests sometimes, such as science, and thought me a nerd. She was like a teenager and I was the geek she'd sometimes pick on.

I didn't get taught any life skills by my parents. Now I'm older, my skills are still poor, but I manage money and certain other things better than them. The family home is full of movie, music, and horror genre paraphanalia. It's full of electric guitar playing and other music (such as when my father played the tabla). One brother is obsessed with lights, covers the entire house in them at Xmas, and arranges parties just so he can get to manage his lighting equipment. Many seem to have no interest in sex and have various undiagnosed anxiety disorders.

i relate to your kind of upbringing, outlier.
the interests are different but there are elements that are the same.

my father would take us down to the big Sydney Food markets and we would be in the fruit and vege area or the seafood stalls as kids and he would break out into opera singing, or neapolitan love songs, which he had a penchant for at one stage.

my mother is obsessed with current affairs. she just gave all her kids (8 of us) the same book for christmas - which was Obama's autobiography. (he is her current pin-up boy.)

i did not get any training in living skills either.
not a thing.

as crazy as it was, it was also weird and fun.

Pretty much everyone in my family (with the exception of my youngest brother and maternal grandmother) would probably qualify as exhibiting the 'broader autism phenotype.' Generally, people in my family are intellectual, introverted, exhibit varying degrees of OCD behavior, seldom discuss emotions, don't deal with stress well/have anxiety issues, and are somewhat iconoclastic, sarcastic/witty/dry sense of humor.

The only person whom I think may have had AS is my maternal grandfather (rigid routines, took everything literally, could not lie, wore the same types of clothes all the time, had obsessive interests, was OCD, made lists of everything, often stood with his head forward/cocked to the side, poor fine motor skills, etc)

Mother-moderate AS, undiagnosed
Father-AS traits
Brother-full blown severe AS, undiagnosed

I had a very self-absorbed, uber-introverted mother who was not a source of comfort for us, due to her extremely nervous manner. My father is the "absent minded professor" type, who allowed himself and the household to be controlled by her.

My brother hibernates, doesn't work and spends all day preoccupied with Greek culture. He studies it, draws it, creates amateur video games based on it, makes music about it, etc. He won't get diagnosed because he is afraid of drs. Neither one of us made friends in school.

mother - NT, anxiety problems
father - NT, anxiety problems, undiagnosed dyslexia (mild)
sister (5) - high-functioning classic autism
sister (13) - NT, but in gifted program...
me (16) - AS, anxiety problems, depression
step brother (20) - NT

my family basically never leaves the house (exception for my step brother). They like humor but I never find it funny and it annoys me. they like making fun of people.

They never leave the house except when necessary, and my parents have no friends with the exception of a few which they wouldn't mind not having. They're afraid of people. We live in relatively small house and I'm sensitive to touch so I tend to stay in my room all the time... The only person I really get along with is my sister who has autism.

I'm the only person in my family on the spectrum. My parents and both of my sisters (and my extended family to some extent) are all extremely extroverted NTs, which made living at home very difficult, because I didn't understand them and they didn't understand me. Going home on breaks is still tough, although now that I have my diagnosis, it allows for a little more understanding on everyone's part.

I envy those who say their families are "weird". In my family, being normal, mainstream, highly skilled socially are musts. My father and I (due to our autistic traits) never measured up, so we've always been ostracized by, and a shame to, the family. If there's one thing my family (including my father!) considers shameful and the symbol of being a loser, it's lack of social know-how, knowing who to suck up to, who to smile to, who to take advantage of.

I am one of the ones from a strange family.

My mom is very ASish...a lifelong artist with intense obsessions that she will talk about endlessly and repetatively, sensory issues...always dresses the same...had issues when I was growing up with depression and meltdowns..it was difficult to learn social skills from her, i guess....Like me, she doesn't drive...has not held many normal jobs...has always felt like a social black sheep..etc..

Both my parents are very politically liberal...

I have a sister who I never ever talk to, who for all practical purposes is NT...unless there is something about her I don't know, which might be the case since I just don't know her...she is intensely embarrassed by me...or was so during our entire upbringing. Although she is NT in the sense of having the drive and being able to successfully conform, she does have her own set of issues.

um...my dad has very good social skills and uses them to make a living as a high-end salesman He does not fit in well with "NT"s, but is good at faking it...He is super super smart...very well-read and musically talented, and also has artistic and architechtural skills. There are a lot of architechts, engineers, inventors artists and musicians on his side of the family...some who do all of the above...

His dad seemed Very AS-ish...His dad's brother, more severely affected....to the point of extremes...There are other suspected family members besides...but also others who are very socially dynamic and whatnot..

Dad: AS traits, ADHD, learning disabled, depression, diabetes
Mom: As traits, arthritis
Brother: Nothing really wrong with him so I'd say pure NT
Brother: AS traits, color blindness, depression

I'm the only one with AS and I seem to have collected all the traits my relatives have except I did not inherit the acute sense of smell.

My uncle might have AS because of the fact people frustrate him, he hasn't had a relationship in over twenty years, he has no desire for friends or relationships, also suffers from anxiety and he is very short tempered. he also has dyslexia he could never succeed in his career because he could never finish the tests on the time due to his learning disability. back then they didn't have accomodations but now they do but I can see why my uncle wouldn't trust people because of how society treated him.

My grandmother might have had it but now she is senile and has Alzheimer's.

My mom's oldest sister has manic depression I think and she is a drama queen

My mom's second sister might have had AS and has a learning disability she suffered through school and her daughter might be aspie

My mom's younger sister has schizophrenia

My mom's brother has color blindness and has a blood clot disorder


My family was very different than the other families in my neighborhood because we were not allowed to run wild and be spoiled brats. We got punished when we disobey, bully, etc.
While other kids were allowed to do anything we want, my brothers and I were disciplined and I noticed at age eight how different my family is than the other families and I envied those kids. Now I am glad my mother was different. She was a good mother and she taught me respect and how to follow rules and made sure I knew there are rules and you follow them, if you can't follow them, you will be punished. She also didn't get us whatever we wanted while the other kids did and we were allowed to be in every room in our house while the other kids were not. They were not allowed in the living room or the dining room.

If I had to pick between two mothers:

Mother #1 She lets me run wild and be a spoiled brat, doesn't teach me to follow the rules, gets me whatever I want from the store, lets me bully other kids, be a disrespectful brat to grown ups, never takes me to places or bothers spending time with me, never takes me on trips

Mother #2 Doesn't let me run wild and be a spoiled brat. Punishes me when I break a rule, whenever I'm disrespectful to a grown up, whenever I bully or tease, doesn't get me whatever I want from the store, takes me to places, spends time with me, takes me on trips


So I would pick mother#2 if I had to pick between those moms.

And I thought those kids were lucky when I was little but I realize now I was the lucky one.