Has discovering AS / NLD improved your human interactions?

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Not me.

I new I was a non-standard person long before I was diagnosed with AS. As a result I set to work to develop the personal interaction skills necessary to get along smoothly in the NT world. Since I am married to an NT and all but one of my children are NT learning to accomidate the NT modality was necessary. It took me many decades to reach a skill level that NTs acquire before they are ten years old. I understand other folks in an algorithmic way, rather than intuitively, but algorithms work just as well as intuition, maybe even better.

ruveyn

Those who say "worse", how?

ruveyn - really? I worked on algorithms since childhood - until I realised you can't substitute algorithms for everything.

And I voted absolutely. I had a little period of complete identity crisis where I was all "Am I am I not?" and doing more "autistic stuff" to ask myself if it was really me, but now that I am getting over the question I can just think about practical solutions and know how to avoid things that should avoid me!

Maybe I've become a little more oversensitive. At least I am communicating more; hopefully the oversensitivity will go away.

Meh...but I am more socially conscious about how I come off to others since reading up on how many of us behave. Didn't use to worry for I was delusional of social significance...

I try and say hi to people and give eye contact as I didn't know the importance of those bits and pieces called interaction. I still scramble through words and have trouble interacting on the same wavelength as my counterparts. I'm finding myself asking more and more what cues I'm missing as I socialize.

Perhaps I've become socially paranoid?

Significantly improved it.

I didn't know about eye-contact, body language, sensory overloads, meltdowns, routines, adaptive behaviour deficits before.

Same here. I'm more aware of what I should or shouldn't say/do. I also understand better the reactions my behavior sometimes provokes. I don't "freeze" as often, because I'm getting a better understanding of people's motivations (they are still alien and often weird to me, but at least I can understand where are they coming from). In all, I'm less judgmental.

On they other hand, I'm even shier than before, less inclined to open up or state my "strange" opinions and very self-aware.

It has improved somewhat. I am not as anxious when I don't have anything to say, I sort of allow my mind to wander. Anything that makes me feel less anxious is good. I sometimes don't mind my stutter or that I say inappropriate things. I get a little bit embarrassed but that's it.
Before my dx I could approach people and talk to them, but I would get worried why I couldn't talk for long or I only wanted to talk about myself, and got bored when they mentioned something I knew little about. I can feign interest now thanks to being more aware, that comes from reading up about ASD and posting in this forum.

Erm...what I meant to ask, actually, is whether your relationships with people have improved as a consequence of awareness of AS. Not your behavior but the relationships themselves.

For me, yes, that too.

Assume AD/SPD can play too.

Can't say that it has. Suddenly realizing that you lack an arm isn't going to create a revelation of any great magnitude in regards to functioning, as you would have learnt everything that you can leading up to said realisation. There's not much someone can do to help with a lost arm either--well, it'll never be a "real" substitute, no matter how real the prosthetic looks (people who make it to adulthood tend to make their own prosthetics too; it still ain't real).

I think it helps me notice a lot more of the things I do in general that I wouldn't be bothered to notice otherwise. Like, I won't do anything to embarrass myself (like act like a goofwhack) just for that reason. I think in that way, it has helped, but that's all I can think of. Luckily, I have the social skills I need and I'm actually very outgoing. So I'm not *nearly* as bad off as some people. I got affected in other ways instead, like how much I suck at math.

I have to say that overall, no, my interactions haven't improved. But that's because I don't do the things that I know I'm supposed to do to really put myself in a social mind or condition myself to have relationships with particular people.

Since discovering I have AS, I've set about trying to "fix" my neurological problems and learn social behavior. I have only been partly successful.

Because of my intense learning and self-development effort, I know how to do socializing now, but that requires a transformation of how I experience reality: I have to project myself into a very focused affective space where I am fixated more on the minds of others than actual reality.

It's difficult to explain, but to make a long story short, I know how to induce in myself certain cognitive modes that support social function. It takes a long time to work up to that, I don't particularly enjoy it, and to me it's an empty, shallow mind. I enjoy my AS experience of reality as a richer, freer and more colorful one.

Perhaps the choices I've made are due to the fact that even if you successfully learn social psychology and human behavior, an AS person still has the natural inclination to be happier alone and explore the world in his/her unique sensory and emotional way. Even though I know how to do socializing now, it takes so much of one's mind's "bandwidth" that I enjoy my natural AS mind more.

I don't experience as much distress and functioning problems when there are social disconnects as I did before. Because I understand NT social behavior in a systematic way now, I have less of an emotional response to their bad behaviors. So I experience less emotional dysregulation and disorientation in response to NT irrational social behavior.

My husband says I'm totally changed and that I'm so much better to have a relationship with. He says the change is dramatic. I'm not sure what he means because I don't feel any different. Perhaps I was unaware of how bad I was, before.

I know what you mean. My relationships haven't improved, but I don't get as hurt when I'm rejected as I used to, because now I understand much more what's going on.

I have a lot more insight.

But apart from real-time empathy which takes a considerable amount of psychic energy and dedication, I still don't do the basic work I know I need to do if I want to have real relationships.

Apart from everything else, relationships take a lot of time and attention and constant bonding. I'm not really filled with the impulses that make me want to engage in all the little work that goes into social social relationships.

So I can figure things out, but I still lack a social drive needed to invest all the energy and lay the right groundwork to have successful relationships. I am still happier in my own space, and with my special interests.

My world of AS-discovery is still very new... only about 4 months since I first heard of it.
These months have been a tremendously productive and insightful time, as I've re-evaluated my entire life, and begun to discern the patterns of thought and behavior in myself which had previously been so confusing and problematic. More than anything, I am just so relieved to know WHY these things happen. Understanding AS in my life has brought me some measure of peace.

But...

Maybe a little.

I am still terribly anxious in most social situations.
I still demonstrate "mindblindness" around others.
I still come across as monotone, pedantic, and odd.
...and so on and so forth.
Even with no formal diagnosis, I know I have AS, and it's not going away.

The difference is that I am beginning to see the warning signs of these problems before they get too out of hand. Sometimes I even think I can catch them before they happen. But it's hard. It's like trying to rewire circuitry in the brain, and I have no clue which wires go where.

I feel like I am slowly learning to be more objective about the way AS manifests itself in me. I can't eliminate these problems, but I can manage them. I think that over time, I'll get better at this, and see at least a little bit more success in my life than I have up until now.

My interactions with my son and his mother have improved somewhat, due to the process I've just mentioned. We have more happy times at home, and we are communicating better, even though I still periodically tune out, meltdown, or inadvertantly sabotage conversations.

I see myself on the trajectory of improvement. I cherish any that I may actually experience.