Body Language Tips

Post Reply New Topic

Even though the article states these tips are for job interviews, I don't see why people couldn't use them daily.

6 Body Language Tips Article

1. The wet fish versus the bone crusher
The handshake tells a story about each of us. Do you shake hands softly? Do you come in from the top and deliver a "bone crusher"? Aggressive people have firm handshakes; those with low self-esteem have limp, "wet fish" handshakes.

A great handshake is a three-step process:

· Make sure your hands are clean and adequately manicured.

· Ensure hands are warm but free of perspiration.

· Execute your handshake professionally and politely, with a firm grip and a warm smile.

2. The eyes have it
What's considered an appropriate amount of eye contact may vary in different countries. In North America, 60 percent eye contact is a safe figure -- one that can give hiring managers a feeling of comfort about you. More eye contact than this and you may seem too intense; any less and you risk appearing uninterested.

Eye-contact tips:

· When you meet the interviewer, look her right in the eyes, then think to yourself, "Wow, so great to finally meet you!" This will make you smile, and she'll pick up on your positive mood. When we look at someone we find interesting, our pupils dilate, a phenomenon the other person instinctively picks up on.

· During a job interview, keep your eye contact in the upside-down triangle area of your interviewer's face: from the left eyebrow, to the nose, back up to the right eyebrow.

Warning: Staring at a person's lips is considered sexual, while looking at their forehead is considered condescending.

3. Get it straight
Posture is an important thing to master on an interview: Get your posture straight and your confidence will rise with it. Next time you notice you are feeling a bit down, pay attention to how you are sitting or standing. Chances are you'll be slouched over with your shoulders drooping down and inward. This collapses the chest and inhibits breathing, which can make you feel nervous or uncomfortable.

4. Get a "head" of the game
When you want to feel confident and self-assured during an interview, keep your head level, both horizontally and vertically. Also assume this position when your goal is to be taken seriously. Conversely, when you want to be friendly and in the listening, receptive mode, tilt your head just a little to one side or the other.

5. Arms lend a hand, too
Arms offer clues as to how open and receptive we are, so keep your arms to the side of your body. This shows you are not scared to take on whatever comes your way.

Quieter people tend to move their arms away from their body less often than outgoing people, who use their arms with big movements. Keep gestures within the frame of your body, or you'll risk being seen as out of control. Avoid the negative action of crossing your arms during the interview.

Here are two common perceptions of hand gestures:

· Palms slightly up and outward: open and friendly

· Palm-down gestures: dominant and possibly aggressive

6. Get a leg up on the competition
Our legs tend to move around a lot more than normal when we are nervous, stressed or being deceptive. As a result, try to keep them as still as possible during the interview. You should not cross your legs during a job interview, as it creates a barrier between you and the interviewer and may lead to fidgeting. When you cross your ankle at the knee, this is known as the "figure four," and is generally perceived as the most defensive leg cross.

Wow, there was a lot in there that I did not know, like the bit about staring at lips.
The speaking is the hardest part for me though in job interviews.

I like stuff like this. A few years ago I saw a book about body language called "the big book of social skills" or something like that. It was all illustrated with photographs. I thought, If I had had this when i was 13, I could have saved myself years of misery.

Very useful thanks.

I've struggled with eye contact for a while, I know I'm supposed to do it, but it's hard for me to get it right.

I have done hundreds of job interviews in my life. This means I am not very good at them.

One thing that I did learn, was that if someone is going so far as to interviewing you, they already think you are probably qualified for the job, and want to see if you are likeable/tolerable/possible to work with.

Wow, that was really interesting! I guess I should probably read up on this stuff, and learn it.

My mistake is that I tend to cross my arms too much, and I do often cross my legs at the ankle. (oops) I don´t think I´m actually feeling those things that they say, I just do it because it feels comfortable to me. Also, because I have a lot of hand and finger stims, crossing my arms prevents me doing them- (or at least makes them less visible).

Educational. Luckily I have plenty of time before I have to really worry about job interviews. Actually making sufficient eye contact is a pain.
Last year (?) someone here linked to a website with extensive information about body language. Unfortunately, I lost the bookmark and can't Google it back. Not to go off topic... but does anyone know of a good online resource?

There is a good book about body language, and how it evolved from earlier primates.

Not a how-to, but rather a broader and deeper survey :

The Naked Ape, Desmond Morris