My mom told me I should kill myself.

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A few days ago my mom snapped at me and told me I should start taking care of myself. She complained about my hair (in need of a haircut), my clothes (old), and told me that if I hated my life that much so as to not take care of myself I should just kill myself and get it over with.

If my mom had told me that when I was a minor, could she have lost custody of me?

Could she have? Maybe if you tried to build a case for emotional abuse. Should she have? Yes.

Did she really tell you to kill yourself?

Dayum!

Well it depends on the tone, I wasn't there. But maybe she's just worried about you?

If she really meant what she said and there's an ongoing pattern to this kind of behavior then yes. But again, it depends of how she used them and if this has been going on for a while now.

well, she wasn't like "go, go, go, kill yourself! do it, do it, do it" but she said it in an angry, sarcastic manner.

Sorry to hear that.

I don't think adults are perfect maybe you should bring this up with her?

My mom and dad were both like that and all I could do was stay away fromt them for a while until it cooled down. If this does happen a lot, document the events and dates in which they happened then you might have a case but for now, I don't think there's much to go on here.

Last edited by MissConstrue on 13 Mar 2009, 10:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

For losing it once? Probably not.

Oddly enough if you knock up a girl and start a family she'd probably be happier.

Sometimes people just say things like that because they need to vent. It would be a lot less ominous if there weren't so much "mercy-killing" of cripples around. I hope there's some way you can get her to back off on talking like that, given the context. She may not realize how it sounds if she's just venting. I mean, who knows, maybe parents say that to their kids all the time???

You don't lose custody for venting once, only if it looks like there's something serious to it.

If she's so worried about your grooming habits, perhaps she could get you some books on the subject to help you organize yourself more.

She was being VERBALLY ABUSIVE and EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE. That is how many parents are. Not your fault AT ALL. She did not mean it literally. She did not mean it.

Since you started a thread about it, it's probably uncommon for your mom to talk to you so abusively. Sounds like she has lots of frustration and resentment, not necessarily at you or only at you.

Your mother was making a rhetorical statement, "If you don't take care of yourself why not kill yourself now?" It doesn't sound to me like she was saying you should kill yourself.

It does sound to me like she was being disrespectful and belittling. And that she considers your AS traits of being unself-aware of your grooming and bearing, to be evidence of some self-hatred on your part. Perhaps you should explain to her that she can't just read the body language and external grooming signs of AS people with the same interpretations as NTs. We don't have the same external demeanor and affectation states as NTs. A lack of grooming doesn't imply the same things about an AS person as it implies in an NT person.

It sounds to me more like she lacks insight into AS, and doesn't interpret your behavior correctly.

I never say anything I don't mean 100%. People have a way of saying things they don't mean and think that taking it back is an option. Someone tells me to commit suicide I'll tell them "yeah, I should but I'll take you with me you son of a b***h".

Just show her a picture of Einstein.

QFT

Mum used to say that she wished I had never been born. You need to realise that some of the traits of aspergers can be extremely frustrating for those that care for us/about us. Trust me she is your mum I doubt very much that she means it.

You are probably driving her a bit nuts

Talking to Mum years later about the use of the phrase "I wish you had never been born" After she had said it she felt pretty bad. The reality is was that I was a really hard kid to deal with (especially as AS was not really known about), it does not mean that she was right to say this but taken into context it is sort of understandable.

If however your you do think your mum means it or she is saying this on a very frequent basis then it is a matter of concern

Last edited by DentArthurDent on 14 Mar 2009, 3:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

Mw, I read this paragraph again and thought some key points might have sounded bad so I came back to edit. I think I misrepresented some of the info. Sorry about that.

First of all, if you were still a kid, it would be up to her to make sure you had decent clothes, although hair is purely objective or subjective, depending on your view. So there's that to consider. Secondly, if you told a teacher at school your mom suggested you kill yourself, most likely, especially after seeing you look somewhat shabby, she would refer you and your mom to a counselor. Most likely she wouldn't lose custody. Might not be refered to a couselor, even. The teacher could just shrug it all off, depending on whether it's an isolated incident, if she knows your mother well. So many things to consider here!
Anyway, good luck with your mom.

Last edited by ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo on 14 Mar 2009, 3:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

My mom told me to kill myself recently too. I've been depressed quite a bit lately, and we talk about it alot. Well, one night she was really drunk when I was at her house, and we started arguing. Then she told me that if I am so depressed, I should go kill myself and get it over with. She said she was sick of seeing me depressed, and she was sick of worrying about me. She said that her and my sister had been talking, and they wanted me to die, so it all would end.

She was drunk, but she wasn't lying. That hurt.


No one should ever be told to kill theirself.