Memories

Post Reply New Topic

I've reconised over the course of my lifetime that every mistake i make is left in my mind and i mean all of them i can recall with utmost clariety things i messed up when i was 4 (which was a decade or two ago) and quite frankly its driving me mad. Now if this isnt bad enough Whenever i mess up now all these things flash through my mind at that moment so that every stupid thing ive ever said every evil action ive done only fuels my despair that another has been added to the list. Is this typical among people with AS or am i just going mad?

Happens to me too. All my bad experiences just stay in my mind. Once when I was 3 I stuffed a whole toilet roll down the toilet and obviously the toilet got clogged. I remember not meeting my sister after preschool and she was balling. I didn't understand why at the time. She was older than me but I think she may have been worried about me. I even remember my brother telling me if I was going to watch a movie with him to not make a peep. Once I made the phone hang up while my mother was on it, I got a bollocking for that. I even stopped answering the phone for years and years, until I told my mum why. I remember all my social mistakes too; interrupting people and my odd behaviour - I mean really odd, like pretending to be a dog. But hey, we learn from our mistakes, so maybe it's good that you still do remember them, so you don't repeat them. Everyone makes mistakes and your mistakes are in the past. Don't get down about them. You're probably the only one that remembers them happening.
Surely you have some happy memories too? If it helps spend more time dwelling on them.

My long-term memory is so detailed, I can remember smells, tastes, feelings, as well as the details of what feels like nearly everything that's happened in my life. Unfortunately, I remember everyone's negativity, which sucks when you're trying to stay positive and forgive, or just accept things. When I've become frustrated, my mind is flooded with every stupid thing the other person has said, done or thought.. and I usually walk away from the argument feeling like crap. I can see that I went way overboard and said things I maybe shouldn't have, but I can't see it at all when my mind gets that flooded. My Dad's been dead for 4 years and I can still remember how the back of his shoulders felt when hugging him, which was also very once in a while.

What I find strange, is that my long-term memory is so detailed, while my short term memory is often choppy, & fragmented. So focused yet completely distracted at the same time.