getting emotional because of inconsistency

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.....mistaken by others as personal reasons.


I´ve read that people normaly get emotional in discussions when they realize that they`re not right but don`t want to admit that.
But it is contrary with me: I get angry when someone is saying something illogical, wrong or stupid. But it seems that other people
don`t understand that: me getting angry because of factual aspects. They think showing emotions means something on the 'relationsship level' is going on. That I might be dominant, that I am not able to give in, that I am dogmatic. Often they change the topic to avoid a hostile atomosphere. But that doesn`t go with me: I need to have the facts clear. Problem is: most people do not care so much about the truth like I do, they care about they social status. And when I get angry over facts they feel degraded by me.

Do you know that? And what do you do against these misunderstandings? Keeping your emotions down?

edit:
it happens often to me, that I get upset because I don´t understand something not because I reject it -
but this is frequently mixed up by others.

Yes, it happens to me all the time.
I just can't let an untrue thing stay hanging in the air...
I try not to insult any one, but nothing else to do about it...

My ex used to avoid some (intellectual) topics, to avoid me screaming at him,
it would only get me more emotional...

I have a friend (who I am not sure is even a friend anymore) who used to be open with me and contact me often. Then, for no reason, she started acting as if she was trying to hide something, and I only heard from her once a month. I haven't heard from her in over two months, and I can't think of anything I did to cause her to do this. She never answers my e-mails anymore, and blocked me from IM. She was one of maybe three people outside of my family who actually listen to me.

I will acknowledge, however, that I tried to pursue a romantic relationship with her, but I wasn't successful in that regard. So I tried to keep a friendship with her. But then she became secretive, and wouldn't tell me anything. I eventually found out through her MySpace (rather than her directly) that she had found someone else, but that's no reason why she should stop having me as a friend. I accepted that she only wanted to be friends and made no further attempts to win her back after she said she couldn't date me, even though I was a bit upset about her finding someone else.

The only thing I could have done wrong was venting about it on WP after I found out (my friend is a fellow WP member, but hasn't posted in a very long time). I am worried that she thinks I'm a creep or a stalker if she read what I had posted (I posted about it about 2 months ago). I don't see why she needed to keep a new boyfriend a secret from me, when I accepted that she only wanted to be friends. I was thinking she would tell me the same things she would tell any of her other friends.

If a person is wrong and I find myself getting frustrated at that person's wrongness, and I happen to be near a computer with internet access, I will just Google the fact that I am trying to prove, and then highlight it for that person to read.

There is no way a person can deny a fact when it is right there in front of them for everyone else to see. So they shut up pretty quick.

I try not to get into debates unless I have an easily accessible means of proving my opponent wrong, such as internet or books.


If I happen to not be able to access these things while I am in a debate, I will remain calm and listen to what the other person has to say, without making any opposing contributions to the debate. Then I will end it temporarily. When I am finally able to get access to the facts to prove them wrong, I will do so, and then present the facts to the person as soon as I am able to.

Yes, the things you describe Madlen are a long standing source of anxiety and distress for me.

I do admit that I still had some feelings for her at the time I found this out, even though I acknowledged that we were still just friends. I never mentioned it to her directly, and was no longer actively "waiting" for her to be ready for a relationship, but was still leaving options open if she ever changed her mind about not wanting a relationship.

I am worried that if she read the post, she was thinking that I was continuing to "wait" for her, and that's why I am worried that she may be creeped out by me.

Yes I do get frustrated by people wrongness, but sometimes I'm the one who's wrong and never accepts it. Especially with my mum and we end up arguing and I just get my hair off, I am not a good arguer.

It was weird that she blocked me from IM, yet she never really used it much to begin with.

i do know tht women with AS are different to men with AS. there is a different presentation and the AS women i maintain contact with tend to agree with this.
but still... the lack of clarity is just not very good.

maybe she had some other issues going on as well. and she may be a nice person...just pretty mucked about or unclear in relationships. they are very scary for men and women under the spectrum i think. They are for all people, but the added issue of our AS makes it doubly difficult.

oh... and Tim Tex...i am glad to see you posting here and there again after your brief retirement...or should i say sabbatical.

there can indeed be a greater capacity for social mimicry and for having some friendships in early childhood. Often the girl or AS woman can be respected because of her ability to keep secrets, and can be mothered by other girls. SHe can appear to be social and so the extent of her difficulties are masked. THis is very much my story and i was only recently dx'ed. the prognosis longterm is also often a bit better for women than men...so the capcity for social adaptability may be a tad better. (not so in my case, really.)

in saying that, this is not research based, but a general veiew amongst some ASD specialists.
I heard Isabelle Henault and TOny Attwood mention this at their seminar on the weekend.
there is a lot of new research at present going into women and AS. BOth Attwood and Henault have said the current diagnostic criteria is NOT suitable for girls with AS and as a result we can get lost without any help for years and years.

Henault said it will be interesting to see what the new research shows specifically, when it starts coming out.

As far as dating, I don't believe the "female Aspies can get dates easier" mantra that is so prevalent on here.

All I want to know is why my friend felt that she needed to keep secrets from me regarding this.

I hate it when people are inconsistent.