DiabloDave363 wrote:
need info, wat makes them so bad?
Take text from their webpage:
Quote:
People with Asperger’s Syndrome can tend to be militant and hold rigidly to what
defines them as individuals. They can be very interesting and often likably eccentric.
They may have a tendency to claim victimisation from those who do not have
Asperger’s Syndrome, while they determinedly continue to navigate life and
relationships on terms of their own rather than mutuality and compromise. People
who do not have Asperger’s Syndrome continue to long for the mutual meeting of
emotional needs within the marriage and resent the reality of living on terms dictated
by the needs and priorities of the partner with Asperger’s Syndrome. In effect, their
flexibility is exploited by the inflexibility of the person with Asperger’s Syndrome.
This small text puts all the blame to site of the Aspie - it could be also well argued that my partner, NT, does "exploit" my ability to learn and memorize facts quickly and my ability to assess situations without emotional interference. Claims like "determinedly continue to navigate life and
relationships on terms of their own rather than mutuality and compromise." are just not supported by real facts. When the author, Carol Grigg, would wrote, that she know of such cases it be fine, but she generalizes her private experiences for all cases.
Quote:
If a person with Asperger’s Syndrome can’t promise the mutuality, relationship and
personal sacrifice that is a reasonable expectation within a marriage, then marriage
may not be for them.
What is here special with Asperger? If any person " can’t promise the mutuality, relationship and personal sacrifice that is a reasonable expectation" than any marriage is doomed.
Quote:
I often wish I could personally meet with all the Asperger partners represented by our
group and somehow convey to them how loyal their partners are, how hopeful they
continue to be that the relationship can be improved and what positive contribution
they can have to this process.
In other words - she did not meet the partner with Asperger: You do not need deeper understanding of relationships to know that in a crisis the stories of both sides just sound so true and contradict each other. She just takes party for one side without hearing the other one. Basic live experience shall teach otherwise.
Quote:
I see the only hope for relationship as being contained within the willingness of the
person with Asperger’s Syndrome to gain as much insight as possible into the
realities of his or her differences, recognise the impact this has on his or her
relationship, seek professional guidance and co-operate with his or her partner to
develop a more healthy mutuality in the relationship.
It sounds trivial, but keeping up a relationship, Aspie, NT or what else, means compromises on both sides. To load all the blame and task on the side of the Aspie is just plain nonsense ...
http://www.faaas.org/pdf/Grigg_Is_There_Hope.pdf