Shahunshah wrote:
I am fragile when faced with a social situation where I am unfamiliar/uncomfortable with those there. However in that scenario I can snap out of it when the topic of conversation gets interesting.
Yeah, I'm like this as well, except less "fragile" and more "awkward." I feel nervous and like a loser who has nothing interesting to offer, but it's very different from the anxiety-driven feeling I get when trying to navigate new places or left alone for a long time. Then if the topic gets interesting, I finally feel like I might have some minor thing to offer and get very "into" the conversation.
Exception: debates with people I don't know well, where I definitely feel fragile. I get mega-anxious and have a tendency to internally flip out for fear that I might be making my side look bad whether my points have more merit or not. Which makes me sputter nervously, seethe grumpily, and awkwardly misphrase things, which in turn actually makes me look bad regardless of my points' merit. It's a pretty vicious cycle, and even extends to ones online, though I've learned to hold the sputtering/seething in and not let it show. I also feel obligated to respond so that it doesn't look like my "side" lost due to lack of merit rather than my personal stress, raising it and often giving me headaches which continue until it's over and I grab a glass of lemonade. It's all a shame, because I actually on some level also really enjoy point-by-point arguments, sharing ideas and all. If I do know someone well, I feel at ease and thrive in them.
_________________
Don't believe the gender tag. I was born intersex and identify as queer, girl-leaning. So while I can sometimes present as an effeminate guy, that's less than half the time and if anything I'd prefer it say "female" of the two choices offered. I can't change it though, it's bugged.