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2ukenkerl
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22 Mar 2009, 1:04 pm

There is a kind of cute woman working at a local CVS, and I decided to ask her something unusual,

(She was talking to me, and looking about 30 degrees to my left.)

ME: Do you often not look at the person you are talking to? :D
HER: (Laughing) Yeah, I often don't.
ME: Is there any particular reason? :D
HER: (laughing) No...
ME: I'm just curious, because I have been looking for that lately.
HER: (laughing)
ME: That's ok, I also sometimes don't look people in the eyes. :D

Anyway, I have to wonder. Supposedly, NT people always look close to your eyes. She wasn't. She laughed in the same way I do when I am nervous.

BTW sorry if this offends anyone.



MONKEY
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22 Mar 2009, 1:09 pm

I've been with people before that don't look at me much but I don't usually mention it though.


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2ukenkerl
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22 Mar 2009, 1:19 pm

MONKEY wrote:
I've been with people before that don't look at me much but I don't usually mention it though.


I don't mention it either, usually, but I was CURIOUS! :cry:



Sora
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22 Mar 2009, 1:19 pm

She likes you? If you got her laughing then I think she likes you.

But, no, not just autistic people don't look you in the eye.

Most shy people, some very quiet people, some people with low-self-confidence don't look others in the eyes.

Neither do some people who have a crush on someone look them in the eye, as well as most people who feel embarrassed, intimidated or scared.

That's why eye-contact is hard often actually, if you don't do this naturally. It all depends on circumstances whether one looks the other in the eye, how the others responds to it with their gaze and for how long each person will attempt to keep eye-contact, how long they'll look elsewhere and so on. Everyone's different too.


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Morgana
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22 Mar 2009, 1:22 pm

Not offensive at all. I met a man recently who also laughs in the same way I do, in a new social situation when he´s not sure what to do...(gee...I wonder if we all have this same laugh??? :lol: ) He seems like he really could be an Aspie. He´s nice, but unfortunately I´m not attracted to him.

Anyway- I would maybe try: "I often don´t look at other people when I talk to them, and I notice you do the same"; just so that she doesn´t think, initially, that you may be about to criticize her for not looking at you. By mentioning first that you do that too, you are demonstrating a sense of comeraderie. Not that I´m the expert, or anything....

I assume you are interested in her, as you mentioned she was cute? Well, if that´s the case- go for it! I wish you luck.


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