Not Give-and-Take but Take-and-Take

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I find that most people are set against having relationships (friendship, whatever) of give-and-take, preferring to pass those by and hold out for relationships where they'll be able to get away with taking while having to give nothing. In the meantime, life happens while they're alone and without anyone giving them anything, since no relationship lasts long when one (or both) are trying to get a lot without giving anything.

I rack my brain trying to understand why this is so common in people.

I'm a stubborn person who won't give up till I have the explanation that connects all the dots.

So any comments / brainstorming of ideas will help...

I see you've met my ex...

Are you saying that take and not give is abnormal?

No I think he is saying that it is rare. I agree with him 100%. Seems like a lot of people looking for a relationship (especially picky NT woman) want everything but do not want to give an inch. I've seen some woman's dating profiles that was pretty much a good looking girl's picture with a list of demands, conditions, and nothing to give other then "OMG I BE HAWT". Everything in their profile was what they want you to be, and nothing about themselves besides the picture. The other thing I've seen are unattractive and overweight NT woman "looking for a hot guy with a nice body". A perfect example of Take-Take. I am not saying that guys are not sometimes the same way, but you have to admit that there are more skinny decent looking guys with woman who are less attractive and overweight. Anytime I see the opposite is an extreme rarity, and in almost every case the guy has money (A large percentage being mail order bride kind of situations). If you look at the opposite case where a decent looking guy is with an unattractive girl you'll find less cases where she has money or some other ulterior motive for the relationship.

What I mean is that some people are takers and some are givers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQHrspjw4aA

Gender topic

Greentea is a female.

I was mostly talking about NTs, especially NTs woman.

Yeah. NT women are 'hot'.

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Last edited by Tim_Tex on 30 Mar 2009, 8:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It's the yin and yang thing and to be properly paired you have to have a balance and somebody has to take as the other gives but the cyle is not supposed to be a close loop so for it to work each partner has to switch back and forth. In grade school they called it 'cooperation'.

The trick in such a case would be that you "give" something does not cause any extra effort. Example:

You would a often drunk brutal and lazy person. If your partner has the psychological need of being frequently abused than you would follow just your "normal" patterns, but your partner would stay with you.

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Last edited by alba on 31 Mar 2009, 9:16 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Sometimes it is not good to over-think simple stuff and it is better to go back to basics.

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Last edited by alba on 31 Mar 2009, 9:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

There always has to be someone who is willing to give or no one would be able to take. Someone somewhere has to give to the takers. I refuse to be, solely, a giver. I used to be that way until I figured out it doesn't make a difference. I made a realization about human nature. You cannot buy people who dislike you. If someone doesn't like you often they don't want anything from you either, they feel too good to take from you because you are lowly and beneath them. They percieve. I gave up on this long ago. It was entirely in vain. I learned the hard way. You cannot do things for people or give them things, spend money on them, and expect them to be your friend and respect you in return. It never works out that way.
In a relationship where there is mutual attraction and affection, it might result in a give-take pattern if one of the partners has a lazy streak. They get lazy and don't want to do anything. Maybe one has AS or some other disorder that interfers and makes them feel lethargic so it's not entirely their desire to be lazy. They just lack energy and drive and take the easy way out, ie: relying on the partner too much.

As soon as the weather gets warmer, I'll get an opinion from the mosquitoes about this.

I think they're genuinely interested in me.