Problems with gifts, especially receiving

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Ladarzak
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31 Mar 2009, 4:51 pm

Anyone else have problems with gifts, especially receiving?

Supposedly there's a broad latitude that allows gifts as positive gestures.

Unfortunately, often when I get gifts the overwhelming significance that hits me is clearly these people, though they may be my favourite relatives, have no bloody clue who I am or what I like. I hate to see $100 value of a gift be useless and just have to be classed as "meaningful in a positive way" when the feeling is frustration, et cetera. Worthless little trinket gifts don't bother me so much because these are meaningless by nature. Office gifts, say. (Although then why have the idiotic gift exchange or the generic "lovely" gift from the boss.)

I recently got a nonreturnable store gift card that is useless to me and it really bugs me. I have to get better at letting things go. I've had more than $100 worth of pita from this already. It would have been so nice to have felt someone was paying attention and to then have a memorable gift that is positive instead of this screw-up. I hate throwing $100 in the garbage or just giving it back. I thought about trading it for something with someone, but that's a hassle, too.

Anyway, gifts used to be a bigger problem when I was young, because at that time of your life you often get many of them. Xmas equalled tantrums for me.

It's not that I'm greedy. It's that I'm frugal and I hate to see resources wasted. And I feel sad that people do not know me enough to get me something I actually enjoy most of the time, even though they are supposedly people that care about me. Hard to let all that go.

Anyone else? Or any thoughts on a different way to look at it?



Emor
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31 Mar 2009, 5:28 pm

When I was younger I use to get a bit upset when I'd get an item of clothing and knew I'd never wear it, but by the age of 10 or so I wasn't really bothered. I don't know if that makes me disrespectful, but meh.
I generally don't get what I want, but what I'd want is pretty much always a computer component, and so it's to be expected that they won't.
I find gift cards worthless, I prefer money. My relatives generally give me money now, which I just don't put towards serious investments like it's any normal money and treat it like gift cards, like, use them up sort of thing, so it works out anyway.
I don't see items I won't use as an insult as such, since, I kind of know only a minority of gifts i ever receive, except from money(obviously, I could utilize my money and by something useful[but even then, I tend to spend it all on small things]), will I use on a regular basis. I think it's more about, 'I got a present' as I opposed to what the present actually is for me.
EMZ=]



Ladarzak
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31 Mar 2009, 6:37 pm

> I think it's more about, 'I got a present' as I opposed to what the present actually is for me.

I'm told by my family that is how I'm supposed to think about it.
If I gave a gift someone didn't like . . . what would I want them to do. Hmm. :oops:



LawnNinja
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31 Mar 2009, 6:44 pm

Your post really sounded familiar to me. I love giving gifts and I try to be very thoughtful and I collect gifts year round for various occasions and whenever I see something that I think a loved one/relative/friend would like or find useful. There are very few people I know that give me thoughtful gifts - I'm no petite in any form, yet I have gotten xs sweaters that couldn't fit my (small for his age) 5 year old, jewelry (I'm a silversmith! I make my own jewelry!), even once steaks when I was a vegetarian. It always bothered me that the people who gave these odd gifts were out the day before a major holiday, buying gifts, when I bought them in advance so I wouldn't have to give something thoughtless (and so I could smartly avoid the holiday traffic and crush of people). It's like they have to spend the money for it to mean something, even though a book on a topic of interest would be just as appreciated (or a gift cert to amazon, as I can get anything from necessities to fun stuff on amazon)

Here's what I found? Gifts are gifts-when they are good they are bonuses in life, when they are not so good they can be relocated fairly easily. If there is a gift receipt, great I might use it. If I know someone who could use the gift more than me, I pass it along (I ask first though). In the case of gifts so hideous it's almost funny (to me)-I'll pass them on as a gag gift. If nobody in my house can use them I will donate them (if I can't sell them on ebay, which on lower resale value goods is not worth the time or stress). Gift cards are the easiest for me though- as I just resell them for a couple of dollars less than the face value (people want a bargain, I'm happy to have them out of my hands and the cash to buy something we need or want). There are also sites (plasticjungle.com is one I think) where you can swap or sell your gift cards. It's not that difficult, and better than having them collect dust.

I hope this helps! I'm glad you asked this- I always feel weird about freaking out or obsessing over this same thing, now I remember my options and do one of those (sell, trade, give away) as quick as possible, so thinking about it isn't taking up valuable space in my head...



Ladarzak
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31 Mar 2009, 7:35 pm

> I love giving gifts and I try to be very thoughtful and I collect gifts year round for various occasions and whenever I see something that I think a loved one/relative/friend would like or find useful.

Yes, that's exactly what I do.

Thanks for your suggestions and response.



RandomKid
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31 Mar 2009, 8:05 pm

I aways get accused of not liking my gifts. My aunt has just started to buy me giftcards to my select store that I tell her or she gives em money.


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