Pathological liars

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http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_can_you_tell_if_someone_is_a_pathological_liar

i'm just wondering if anyone has come up against someone like this. there seems to be one person in my life like this, and i am finding it difficult to cope. anyone got any advice?

Don't trust anything they say until you verify it or get them out of your life.

I know how it goes, and the latter one was the only fix.

i know what you mean, but getting away is just not practical at this time. (bummer)

I admit that i do lie a bunch to people i dont know because hell they dont know me so why not make yourself out to be a badass? I also find myslef lying to women i am attracted to to try to impress them but this usually fails after the get to know me.

I have....cost me my job.

In short, he played me for intel on how my business worked (we were contracted to provide a program that was run from his office). He always wanted to tell us how to do the job when he was nowhere in the chain of command we answered to. He used the intel to craft a budget proposal that really would cripple how we operate...forcing us to lay off two of our three case managers. He pushed the idea on the budget committee, and got what he wanted. His proposal worked for him because his program was easy to run and signing up large numbers of people was easy as he provided very little service. My program (and others) were very time-intensive, so we tried to limit the enrollment to people who were self-motivated enough that we could provide a quality service rather than have to babysit 24/7.

When it was over, and I was going to be laid off, I wrote a polite letter (or at least as polite as possible) and told him what I really thought of him. I let him know he was a pathological liar and a bully. I was called back to the job because nobody else would work in his office, and he plotted for a week to make false accusations to get rid of me. My boss let me know she had to let me go (again) for my own protection because this guy was threatening to file a complaint of sexual harassment against me on behalf of his workers. My boss knew this was an obvious lie as the man couldn't go 5 minutes without whining over the slightest issue (real or imagined) and nothing along such lines were ever brought up in the 6 months I had been in his office.

Frankly, I can't say how to "deal" with such people. If you can let them live in their fantasy world, fine. If they have a position of authority over you or if they could imply you are to blame for what happens, it's a problem.

Typically, you need to document EVERYTHING. Keep a daily diary and put down EVERY INCIDENT, no matter how trivial, so you can document what happened, when, and who was involved. When they start pushing too far, file complaints with everyone you can with copies of your documentation and hold on tight. Working with jerks like this is really unbearable and unacceptable.

Flakey's other girlfriend....it is the reason I have still yet been unable to talk to her...all other negative history aside.
I am told that she is not as bad as she used to be...People have insisted that she is simply crazy and does not even realize that she is lying...but I simply can't trust a thing she says...

i knew a pathological liar once (i was about 20). he sold marijuana, and my 1st girlfriend used to go to his place to buy it. i often drove her there, and i had to come inside the house because "someone waiting in a car outside" looked suspicious he said.
also we (me and gf) had to stay there for at least 1/2 hour so it would not attract neighbors attention. he was a small time seller as he grew in his bedroom cupboard what he sold , and he had only 3 other people that bought it from him. i did not smoke it. i am saying all that to set the scene for people who may imagine a seedy drug scenario.

anyway, this fellow "ken" was the most hilarious person i ever heard. he was short (about 5'3")
i can not imagine how he thought anyone would believe his utterly incredible stories. he was otherwise quite smart.

a few examples.
he walked to the shops and back for cigarettes one night, and he was gone 15 mins. when he got back he was acting like he was in a fit of rage.
his girlfriend asked him what had happened, and he said "ohhh man this f***** c**t set his doberman on me hey. the mongrel stopped me and said i was a dropkick so i told him i had a black belt and to back off or i'd crack his head like a nut. so then he let his f****** mutt off the leash and it lunged at me. i roundhouse kicked it across the road and when it landed it was dead hey. then i pulled out a f****** fence paling and i started after the c**t (the owner of the dog). he freaked out hey, and i chased him about a mile down the road and i pegged the paling at his head and he dropped like a stone!! ! i think i killed him hey....."
everyone said "wow man". i think they knew he was lying, but i just was in convulsions of laughter. he seemed to enjoy my laughter for some reason. i think he thought i was laughing in admiration of his heroism, but i really was laughing at how he could say all that with a straight face expecting to be believed.


the best one he ever said was when someone else was talking about the performance of their sports car.
ken told his story about how he was working on a "mates" car once that was a ford 351 muscle car. he was taking it for a test drive, and he went through a radar trap, and the police started chasing him. he told of a 4 hour pursuit that ensued at speeds of 180-200mph through the backstreets of suburbs.
(i had to ask him to pause there so i could catch my breath).
he said that eventually, he had 62 highway patrol cars and 11 police helicopters chasing him.
(my tummy was in agony from laughing)
he said that as he was going over the sydney harbor bridge, that he noticed they had introduced a supercar that they were chasing him with.
he said he "threw" it back to 2nd gear at 170mph, and he got so much acceleration that he span out of control at 15,000 revs.
("no no please stop for a while" i begged him. my throat was hoarse and i was laughing so much i was coughing badly)

he said he managed to control it almost immediately, and then 2 of the helicopters chasing him collided with the bridge and were downed in flames. he said he crossed the median divider and smashed through the toll gates and got away.

if ever there was a good "ab" defining trainer it would be him, because i almost developed "sixpacks" from laughing at his story. he said it with a totally straight face and he really expected people to believe it.

other ones included that he had been diagnosed with a fatal brain tumor that was going to kill him within 3 months. 3 months later that story was long forgotten by all.

he also said he had won a $2 million lotto (because he thought of a fail safe system for picking the numbers) , but he gave the money to a mafia boss to mind because people were after him, and the mafia boss was killed, and he was still tracking down where his money went.


once i remember someone remarked that they got a takeaway meal a few days earlier, and they had found a small fly in their pasta.
he took over and gave his story that a few months ago, he bought a chicken burger, and when he bit into it it tasted strange, so he pulled the top off it to find a dead funnel web spider in it.
here is a pic of the same type of spider he claimed he found in his chicken burger:


then he said that he noticed a tingling in his lip and he realized that he had bitten the burger in a way that the spiders fangs had stabbed his upper lip. even though the spider was dead, he said he got a fatal dose of toxin (due to him squeezing the venom glands as well while biting), but miraculously his system fought it off.

most of his visitors just nodded with stoney faces. they knew he was lying, but they politely ignored it, and left after their obligatory 30 minute stay.

i was always in stitches and i wanted to hear as many stories as he could tell.

pathological liars are fun to visit, but i would not want to live there.

I have met a few people like this, and for various reasons, ended up having to banish all of them from my life. They seem particularly attracted to me, because one of my major downfalls is believing most things because I assume everyone's as honest as I am.

These people are rarely dangerous (though one of the ones I used to know ended up becoming dangerous....when she started telling lies about other people that got a few into trouble...she came quite close with me, in fact). But I have a real problem with keeping people in my life that I can't trust....if nothing they say can be taken at face value, what's the point of having them around?


God I hate dishonesty.

^
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sounds like histrionic pd and its probably a good thing to see the funny side of it. to tell the truth i wouldn't mind someone talking utter nosense (lies) to me as opposed to someone who twists words around and swears that is what was truly said, or makes bold accusations which they are convinced is true but is in no way so.

I have to agree. I know a few storytellers like this (two of them Aspies), who are actually really amusing, but the stories are so far-fetched, I don't even think they expect people to believe them. Storytellers can get annoying, too, but they're way better than actual pathological liars who can potentially get others in trouble with their BS.

Some of the most evil and destructive people I have ever met have had "cluster b personality disorders". They fit that exact desciption on the site as well.