Weddings and other ceremonies

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On a different forum I go to there's a topic about if you got married right now, would you already know who your best man/maid of honor would be.

I got to thinking... the whole affair of weddings strikes me as terribly contrived. There's just something incredibly fake about it. Anytime I've been to one, it's been like watching something that's staged.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Well I know that it's staged in a sense that people know what they're going to say and that they're wearing costumes and have props but...

I dunno. I wonder if anyone else saw it all as being as ridiculous as I see it. They really need to go through this set up?

And then seeing these shows on TV with the brides complaining about things not going their way... I worked in theater for awhile and it really reminds me of pissed off actresses and directors.

Then the ring's not big enough. They didn't get the gifts they wanted....

Theater producer: Oh no! We've gone over budget!

Lots of parallels but I wonder if NTs get it or if they do but try not to think about it.

I am getting married next February.

The wedding ceremony is for the benefit of other people, not myself really. The happiest and most exciting part will be in the years to come, not the wedding itself.

I do not miss anything in that I'm not being romantic about it. As far as I can see, being practical just makes it a whole lot easier than other couples I've seen and a lot less stressful, so I can actually enjoy whatever there is to be enjoyed about a wedding (ie whatever Aspies take pleasure in at any given social occasion). The wedding is just another event in our couple relationship: an important one, that will require us to get organised and contact family etc - challenging for someone with AS but good practice for the life ahead!

Totally horrible occasions! [I mean weddings, christenings etc etc]

Having been a groomsman myself (but never married), the future bride and groom usually choose people they feel close to (their best friends or close relatives).

Some have spoken about how fairytales try to make females feel great, give hope, and raise expectations. THINK ABOUT IT! Many have the prince search all over and save her, whether rapunzel, snow white, cinderella, etc....

Look again to the TRADITIONAL wedding, at least in the U.S.. The woman is dressed in a VERY expensive dress, with a trane and veil, etc...(that could cost thousands of dollars). The man(possibly due to the lack of royalty and how silly it might otherwise look) is dressed in a formal tuxedo. The wedding is held in a large room that is opulent. There is a BALL of sorts after the wedding. Even the CAKE is opulent and expensive. The woman is given a ring that is EXPECTED to cost at least about 3 months of the grooms salary. So the AVERAGE cost of a ring, in the US, should be about $7,500! The $7,500 may sound like a lot, but that is for the AVERAGE earner and, in any case, can pale in comparison to the rest.

As for it being staged? They handle it the SAME way as a movie! They may even FILM it like a movie! The dresses have gotten SO expensive, that they may now be made out of only the material once used to merely to line them. They STILL cost a lot, but cost a lot less, and are basically disposable! LUCKILY, the tuxedos cost less, but they are often rented. BTW did I mention that the dresses are often CUSTOM MADE!?

They do rehearsals, casting, and may even have casting changes! The ONLY difference between a movie and a wedding is that the extras(wedding invitees) may not be there for the rehearsal, and the first take is the final one. They MAY edit the tape though!

Regarding what ZEGH8578 said, many DO opt for a cheaper marriage. A marriage COULD be as simple as a little pre-made one in las vegas,nevada (which I think is probably where most weddings in the US are done). That is fitting, as it is a big gambling town, and about 50% of marriages FAIL! RENO nevada is a big place to get a divorce!

Seems like the very nature of weddings, rites, ceremonies, etc. are perfect for us. I mean, think about the nature of these events in general. They are completely contrived. They are completely scripted. Everyone has a job. Everyone knows what to do or say. Everyone knows what is going to happen during every single second of the given event.

Seems like we would all be running to participate. Moments in life that everyone has a job and every second is scripted. Sounds like that could be Asperger heaven.

I know it's a tongue in cheek response. However, when you think about it....we all complain because life is so awfully unpredictable and that is difficult for us. Then when we are given these little moments of complete and utter scriptedness and we complain. Anyone else see the irony in all of this?

I think everything being scripted and predictable just makes it more obvious to me that it's fake.

My brother's getting married soon and his girlfriend is tearing herself to pieces planning everything so that it's "perfect". I just don't get it. I can't possibly see myself going to such lengths.

I hate weddings. I got married 16 years ago. Registration office rather than a church because I'm not a Christian - not that it stops lots of none-Christians getting married in church - they become Christians for the day or half an hour anyway.

I got caught out at the reception after the wedding when everyone started shouting "Speech, speech!" Oh bugger I thought. I'd forgotten the groom was supposed to make a speech, so winged it - badly.

People keep inviting me to their church weddings. This tends to be extremely awkward. I can either refuse to go as a none Christian, but I do wish them well, so usually end up going but don't sing any of the religious songs or do any of the prayers - to whom would an atheist pray? So I end up sitting / standing there staring at the architecture of the church or exchanging glances with a perplexed vicar.

Weddings! <shudder>

I'm never getting married. I'll live with a woman I love until one of us dies, but never will I go through a wedding.

My mom keeps saying how being confirmed and baptised will be the most important events of my life. I can only enjoy myself if I am comfortable and just because some article of cloathing does not bother her, it can be painful to me. She then goes on about how not everthing done for God is supposed to plesant but then why does everyone else at the church seem to be enjoying themself. Wearing a lacey thing on the center of my head feels as if it is cutting into me. It's not enough for my parents for me to wear a rediculious dress but I also have to wear a stupid thing on my head that would be super uncomfortable. Once at church I saw a Hispanic family. The mother and daughter had a fabric cloth wrapped around their heads (simmaliar to what women wore in the time of Jesus). I asked my mom if could wear something like the Hispanic family and she said I couldn't because we are Catholic not Arabian. WTF? The Hispaic family was at the same Catholic church we were. A fabric cloth wrapped around my whole head seems more comfortable than a lacy round thing pinned to my hair. My mom said I could just wear skirt and a shirt but the shirt has to be button down. I could never tolerate wearing buttons at all even as a baby. I asked her if I could just wear a plain white turtle neck sweatshirt with a plain floor legenth skirt and she said no becuase a sweatshirt is too casual. The only way my parents could get me to go to church was letting me wear what I was comfortable in. My mom will not let me get baptised and confirmed unless I wear what she veiws dressy and appropriate for the occasion.