What is "a preference for sameness and routine"?

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This is one of the common definitions of AS.

However, I can't understand what it exactly means.



In my case, I prefer play musical instrument in the every evening.

It can be "a routine" in a way.

However, it is a usual behavior for the NT person who practices keenly, so everyone could meet that definition easily.

If so, it would be worthless as a definition.



I eager to know about the exact meaning of "a preference for sameness and routine".

Could you explain me if you have an idea?

(This write form doesn't perfectly support chrome )

Are you sure you've seen that as a definition? That looks like something that's part of a description of AS, but not something that would be used as part of a definition (there's a difference) and, even more so, not something that would be used by itself as the entire defintion or description (either one).

I agree it wouldn't make much sense as a defintion for AS. But as part of a description of AS, it makes a whole lot of sense, and I can't see how any explanation would add to it because it's pretty straight forward.

Well, when my daughter was young, she was easily upset with disruptions in her daily routine. She was used to going to daycare, having a snack, having indoor play, having a nap, having outdoor time in the play yard, coming in and having lunch, having naptime, having music time, etc... every day was the same, every day at the same time they did the the same things. If the weather was bad (it rarely was) they would not be allowed to go outside. She was expecting to go outside, so that threw her into a tizzy. Her food had to be in the same spots on her plates, not too hot, not too cool. Meat at 6:00, potatoes at 2:00, veggies at 10:00. They could not touch, could not have gravy... And supper was had at six pm, after mom came to get her, we got home, she had a little play time, and then "helped" make supper. It was the same, every day. (Except on Sundays). She got upset, when things were not the same, as she didn't know what would happen if they did. (I assume.)

It's now 20 years later. Most of that is gone, although she is more comfortable knowing what will happen the next day when she goes to sleep at night. If her friends call her unexpectedly at noon to go shopping in an hour, she will go, but it's only been in recent years that she would do so - as a teen she would turn them away saying she had other plans, because shopping hadn't been in the plan for the day. The thought of doing something spontaneous like that, without planning, was uncomfortable. Routines make her life easier, she knows what to expect and gets from expected event to expected event with a minimum of emotional discomfort. She can now handle unexpected things that pop up, but they are, perhaps, not as easy for her as for others, but she manages.

When I was her age, young 20s, if something unexpected happened it could be an emotional disaster for me. If the car had a flat tire, I would be in the same state as if someone had told me a relative had terminal cancer. Tears anxiety for days... it's pretty much diminished over the years as I've had more and more experiences (and thus know what to expect and how to act in them), but I can still catch myself feeling a bit unsettled if my plans suddenly change on a day when I'm tired.

It's my understanding that some people never really get over this at all, and that things have to be the same routine every day or they are left adrift and lost, which is a very bad feeling. I hope this helps?

Yes, everyone may have preferred routines - the difference is like this:

Say both an Aspie and an NT have the same routine as you, they practice a musical instrument at the same time every day.

If a friend of the NT pops up unexpectedly at practice time and says "Hey, let's go bowling!" The NT can more easily say "Sure!" Skip practice for that day and not think twice about it.

The Aspie on the other hand, is much more likely to be visibly irritated at receiving an unplanned-for visit, far less likely to agree to the schedule change, and if pressured into it, will feel agitated and disoriented for the rest of the afternoon, and probably have a lousy time and feel resentment toward his friend for screwing up the predictable order of his day.

I don't seem to have more "sameness and routines", I much prefer to try out new things. However, I plan. I hate it when people suddenly want me to do something or go somewhere without warning,

^yeah same here^



When I was little, my food had to be served to me in the same way in the same spot or I refused to eat if it wasn't. I even played with my toys the same way and get upset if one of my friends or baby sitters moved furniture in my doll house and I couldn't understand why they did it. I would even get upset if my friends wanted to play with my dolls differently than me and wanted to make changes in our play time such as wanting to use different dolls or wanting to move my doll furniture. Of course they had to compromise with me and they would say they would move it back when they are done and I would give in. But I wonder what is the difference between messing with a NT child's stuff and them not liking it vs an aspie child not liking it?

It also threw me off when there be a slight change or a change in routine. I just felt uncomfortable inside. As I got older when I reached puberty and my hormones changed, my anxiety disorder started so I got anxiety over changes vs me just misbehaving or being out there or anxious when I was little. But I loved early release in school. I just liked being home for some reason despite school being fun when I was little.

Yup! I like my routines!

I like to get up at roughly the same time everyday (even on the weekends). If I find that I have overslept it makes me feel like I have ruined the flow of the day. It can make me feel nervous for the rest of the day even though I "know" that everything is going to be "okay". It is one thing to reason with yourself that everything is going to be alright and it is another to be able to control the emotions that arise as a result of not knowing. In short, something as silly as oversleeping can cause me to have an anxiety filled day!

Other examples of "sameness and routine"....

I like things to occur in even numbers! I can't buy one can of beans... I have to buy two. I can't have a plant in one window without having one in the other window too.... even numbers look better.... That sort of thing.

I can't wash my face before I have wet my head, washed my hair and set the conditioner in to set. Just can't do it....

There are TONS of stupid little things like these that I just "have to do". I basically experience anxiety and/or panic attacks when too many of these little things get disturbed. One or two things here and there... I can handle. Hand me a day where I wake up late, miss breakfast, have to leave a dish in the sink, sit through red lights that I don't usually hit, etc.... It pretty much makes me a nervous wreck for the rest of the day.

I have found that solitude can offset these feelings, however. Something as simple as a half an hour on the treadmill (listening to the same song over and over) can radically reduce the stress for me. It's all about coping mechanisms!! Unfortunately, it can take a long time to figure out "how to cope" with certain situations.

I don't stick to rigid daily routines but I hate it when plans are changed. If I had expected an evening in by myself and then a friend dropped by I would struggle with that. I would also hate to have to go to a different place to what I expected. If something happened that I hadn't planned for I go to pieces. I'm not the person you would plan a surprise party for!

The DSM-IV states:
B. 2. Apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals.
I am not inflexible - but nevertheless, my psychologist says I fit the criterion.

I like to eat the same thing every day (with only minor variations), wear the same type of clothes (I LOVED being in the Army & having a uniform to wear everyday), follow a schedule, etc. I'm not completely torn apart if I'm forced to break a routine - but if I run into enough diversions, I definitely feel it.

I like trying new things & I'm OK with change, as long as I have a little time to prepare myself. Like twix93, I plan. If I decide to do something new, I make a plan (at least in my head) for how I'm going to incorporate it into my day. When I hear about a change at work, I immediately start planning how I will accommodate it.

Dude. I could give so many examples of situations like this. My boyfriend thinks I play all my games the same way (especially in the Sims), and I feel uneasy when people (especially my mom, but anyone!) move things without reason. I can actually be OK if something I put somewhere was in the way of something, but if I keep my shampoo in this one spot in the shower every day, then why would I find it somewhere else...

Hmmm, frustration...

NTs frequently say:

aren't you tired of doing it very day the same way?

I say: no.

NTs say wouldnt't you like to change it?

I say no.

OMG!! This is the story of my life!! ! When I was a teen, if a kid happened to come over, I would follow them around my room and when they would touch something and put it back down again I would go behind them and give the thing that extra "touch" to put it back "EXACTLY" the way I liked it to be. I can always tell if someone has been touching my things!! ALWAYS! It drives me nuts when I don't find things the way I left them. This is not an OCD thing, either. There is no obsession..... it is pure compulsion, baby!! !!

I have that very much.

I get up the same time every day and do the same thing every day like a schedule. It is a very rigid schedule, too.

I have it all laid out on a page in my mind.

And it is extremely rigid and very rigourous.

When I was little I read that the Romans considered the right hand, and the right side generally, better than the left, and being right-handed I adopted this principle. When one's shoes are tied the knot, of course, loosens slightly as one walks around, and I made it an inflexible routine to tie my left shoe before my right, so that the knot on my left shoe would start to loosen a few seconds earlier, and the right shoe feel just that little bit more tightly tied. That was fitting, you see, because the right foot was superior. Well, one day my mother tied my shoes for me and tied the right shoe before the left, and I had a screaming fit. I was about eight then. I think that's the kind of thing that's meant.

This can overlap into OCD, of course. Also at about eight, I went through a phase during which I had to swallow a lot, according to a certain counting routine. I clearly remember sitting on the bus to school feeling thoroughly sick of doing this, but also feeling unable to stop. Then at about -- what? -- thirteen I went through a phase during which I had to count the letters in words and the words in sentences as I was reading. I still very occasionally do this, but then it was a frequent thing. It bothered me, since it held up my reading, but I knew I'd feel terrible if I didn't do it.

The "preference for sameness" also makes me listen to, watch and read the same things over and over again. I was, and am, a voracious reader and always looking for new books to read, yet the summer I was ten I read one book all the time. As with most of my aspie characteristics, this one's much less strong now than it was, which is good, because although it felt soothing it did hold up my mental development somewhat. It's reduced now to a liking for listening to the same short piece of music over and over again for, say, half an hour.

I don't think this characteristic necessarily means you live a regimented life, though. I sure as heck don't. Asperger's presents very differently in different people.

I got asked by one of my aspie buddies "Don't you get tired of watching it?" when I told him I was watching Benny & Joon and he asked me "How many times do you watch it?" and I said "2 times a day."

I guess I found one of my other aspie super powers. I never get tired of watching the same thing over and over nor get tired of routines.

I love watching living things, like plants or insects. Could perhaps spent all my time watching a bird, it is extraordinary!