my doctor _doesnt wanna_ test or diagnose me.

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needless to say, i need to get a new doctor.

she allready IS new, my mother changed docs for me and my brother, to match her own, since we all ended up living pretty near each other. lately i want a diagnose from a doc, that way i can actually show _to something_ when im being totally useless and malfunctional.
im sick of telling people "im not cold" when i am moving and shaking.
im sick of telling my mother "im staying home" when she asks me what parties and stuff im going to.
im sick of telling people "nothing" when they ask what i do, and "nah" when they ask if ive looked for work.
and i am of course sick of optimistically telling people the "progress" im doing w the local social services, because its lowlife, and it sucks.

lately i told my apointed helper from social services that i seriously suspect aspergers, since it does fit my perfectly, and is the source of most my social/school/job problems, my whole life, especially considering that 3 shrinks couldnt find out what was wrong with me. they were all looking for depression, and found none, then stopped looking for anything else.

my doc suspected ADD the first time we talked, just some months ago.
i then asked my appointed help person to call my doc for me, just to ask how such a diagnose is done, and what significance such a diagnose might have etc. just for info.
the doc told her simply that she didnt wanna, cus there was "no point", and that was the end of that :S

i am TOTALLY confused.
the same doc refused to let me read the shrink reports too. i got hold of them anyway, and they said nothing special.
the doc refused to let me see them, cus the "language used is too tricky".
im soon 30.
you dont tell a soon 30 year old guy "there are difficult words here. you cant read it." its just... weird.

now im considering a family friend of my dads, he is a doctor, and they use him as the appointed doctor for my sisters there. im thinking of going to him, since he knows me. but that means confronting my dad and stepmother with this whole deal.

my fear is that i will meet TOTAL rejection, and ZERO help, out of their fears of me being either uncureable, faking it out of sadistical lazyness (i think some of them actually DO believe this... ), finding some excuse to not "try to snap out" or maybe to even get meds or something, which i will refuse to take either way, point is...

NOBODY in my family, WANTS me to have some problem, that will prevent me from getting a life right away.
after all this time, they keep expecting me to suddenly get a chick, job, a social life and a car and whatnot. i'd rather they stopped caring OR became all aware of what the deal is.
i fear i will meet blind rejection, and with this doctor business

even my doctor rejects me blindly, EVEN after quickly noticing that there was something off with me, without even knowing me! just dead stop rejection!

My suggestion, since you seem to be able to navigate the net at least half-way decently, is to find out who your insurance will cover for you. Get their name and you can probably find a list of providers with Google. You mentioned that you have a "helper" from social services, does this person report to your parents? If you can call and find out if you can get an appointment with one of the new doctors you find in your insurance book. If she reports to your parents see if you can do it on your own, my insurance has a thing where you can even get driven to appointments as long as you call their office at least x days in advance.

no, they wouldnt be allowed to share any info about me with others, but i did bring my stepmother there a few times, shes the only "close family" that doesnt have the GENETIC attachment to me, and so is more open towards the problems i got.

im mostly counting on that combination: social service helper told me to try again w the doc, or get a new doc. im not trying again, if the doc allready made her mind up. i dont think insurance is connected w doctors here, the same way it is, there, wherever that is we got the free-for-all healthcare, so changing doctors is really not difficult, and done online
BUT

it would mean tons of confrontation. my mother would ask me why i changed docs, so soon after she got me this one, and i DO prefer my dads/stepmothers friend, because he has at least met me several times, and been around me. he's seen my awkwardness and also has an interest in my best, on a personal level.

the family member i trust the most, on this matter, is my step-mother, precisely cus she isnt technically family, and its easyer to talk to her, cus she wont get all _emotional_ on me. but thats also why im worried. if i lose her support, i got nothing left, but to try to get it done ALL by myself... which is probably gonna suck and take a long time...

on a "lighter" note, another reason to get the diagnosis "on paper" would be to get my mother to torment me less
she doesnt mean any harm, but she rips me to shreads, by REALLY forcing and pushing and pressuring for more social behaviour from me, her phonecalls last an eteeeeeernity, and she will make sure neither me or my brother can escape her place (when we visit) unless we've spent at least 4 hours there.
one time we were both so exhausted when we finally got out, he was on the verge of tears, and hes twenty something and not aspie
usually my refuge is checking out old reading material, from when i lived at home. during my last visit there, she decided to take my last refuge away "No reading! You always read when you get here! Time to be social now!"
THEY WERE CHATTING ABOUT WTF _THE AMMOUNT OF SUNLIGHT LATELY_??? COME ON!! !!

Snaaaaaaap. My doctor laughed at me. I'm prettty sure he had never seen me before, and had definately not had an appointment with me before cos my original doctor retired recently and he's new to me.
My mum talked to a duty doctor without me there when she saw them another time cos I wasn't there to bias anything and doc suggested go through school education psychologist, so that's what I'm doing. If you're not at school perhaps there's someone at work you could talk to, a nurse perhaps?

ZEGH8578,
have mentioned have got a social services helper,is that the same thing as a social worker?
ask the ss/helper to refer to the social services pyschologist or pyschiatrist-they have their own team of specialists inc pyschs [at least they do if are in learning disability services,would think it'd be similar enough for MH services if are in with them though].
Theres quite a few people who can refer to them,instead of gp.

it would be worth asking the ss/helper to refer to the national autistic society,so can have someone trained to go along with self to the doctors to get the referral.


about the report,she may just not wanted to let see it because are not a doctor,no risk if she doesnt show it,or she may be automatically judging self as confused of big language because of the ADD [ADD=LD?],am struggle a lot with language,so they use words can understand and not too many per page,and back it up with PECS pictures,though thats off SS docs,not hospital/gp.


There should be a website for reviewing/rating GPs,so everyone knows who to go to,and what they;re really good with.

they did send me to three shrinks, appointed by the state, but their mission was primarily to figure out how much or little depressed i was. their conclusions were "childish, lazy and antisocial, but not depressive. needs a haircut and a goddamn job."
which wasnt very helpful.

yes, its a "social worker", i could see if she could contact some official autist organization yes. im totally new to most of this myself, i didnt even know aspergers existed some years back. as i said, everyone were just blaming my awkwardness on my apparent lack of will to conform. ill keep pushing it w my social worker, the best would be to get an evaluation independently of my doctor, no?

It seems to me this is a family issue rather than a Doctor issue.

You need to get out from under your mother's thumb, particulalrly with regard to Doctors. It seems to me that she may be managing to literally control how your Doctors percieve you.

Get another Doctor. I'd be inclined to make sure your mother does not even know the name of this new Doctor. (At your age she has no right to ANY information about you.)

The only answer you have to give to any questions is to say that you have finally found a Doctor you are comfortable with, and that is the Doctor you are going to see now, and if she makes a fuss just tell her you see absolutely no sense in going back to a Doctor you were never happy with.

I also think you need to practice saying "Mum, this is none of your business" in front of a mirror until you are ready to say it to her face.

Good Luck