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bakattsura
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18 Apr 2009, 5:46 pm

I've noticed a lot of people with Asperger's Syndrome (myself included!) seem to write something off as soon as they hear something negative about it. I can't read reviews of a movie I haven't seen yet because I know I'll internalize them and won't be able to enjoy watching it as much as I could have otherwise.

I see this going on with people, too--if someone says or does something untoward to a person with Asperger's Syndrome, that person is likely to hold that against the person forever and the relationship will be essentially changed from that point on. That it could be something so small that a neurotypical would forget about it within days but it will last for months or even years in the consciousness of the person with Asperger's.

So my question is, how do you deal with this? I need to talk to people in an organization I am a part of to get them to stop being fixated only of the few negative aspects of things and to see the whole picture. And with my friends, I want to be able to make small mistakes once in awhile without having a grudge held against me forever.



TobyZ
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18 Apr 2009, 6:44 pm

bakattsura wrote:
I've noticed a lot of people with Asperger's Syndrome (myself included!) seem to write something off as soon as they hear something negative about it. I can't read reviews of a movie I haven't seen yet because I know I'll internalize them and won't be able to enjoy watching it as much as I could have otherwise.


So my question is, how do you deal with this?



Push yourself to try things you suspect you won't like. Ask a couple friends for places to eat or movies to see, and go with them. Even if they aren't well reviewed or what... find out why THEY like them and learn to logic their perceptions.

It takes work, just like anything else with the intellect. But it can be done.

You can sharpen your mind, focus on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_thinking skills. Which includes keeping an open mind, even when you are "sure".

If anything, look at how many Aspies here doubt their own diagnosis ;) In a way, true critical thinking you never ever get 100% decided on anything. It can be it's own form of problem ;) So don't overdevelop it.

But hey, order what is popular that you suspect won't be liked - and learn why people like it. I'm a foodie, but have learned to appreciate that people go to McDonald's for the consistency and comfort of the layout and food all being so similar - in all cities and corners. Not MY thing, but I've learned to appreciate why others like it.



2ukenkerl
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18 Apr 2009, 6:55 pm

bakattsura,

When you get an answer, l;et me know. I have the SAME problem! Some people say bad things about other people/products, and I know, or learn, that they aren't true. HECK, I was once on a site where people actually CONSPIRED to say bad things were GOOD! WHY? So they could all get money!



Peko
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18 Apr 2009, 7:25 pm

What you describe is exactly how I am about things. But I've pushed myself to give everyone I meet a chance (I do not judge people I do not know). But I cannot help doing what you say when it comes to people I have met, ex. I still think a girl who asked if I...is a, you can guess.



sjamaan
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19 Apr 2009, 7:23 am

Have you read the no "gray area", just "black/white" thread? It deals with this issue.