Everyone is my equal

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This is going to sound weird but I don't think like in social hierarchies like NTs do. My instinct wants to consider everyone to be my equal. This means you're my equal Greentea, Millie is my equal, and even gina-ghettoprincess is my equal. I have the feeling we aspies think along these lines. Look at the dispute between violet_yoshi and jimbeux. The problem is we aspies instinctively hate these hierarchies. violet_yoshi wanted Jimbeux girlfriend's son to be treated like an equal. This was where violet_yoshi's dispute was I believe. Again, I may be wrong and reading too much into it. Jimbeux wanted to teach him that he can't always have what he wants.

In this case, I say Jimbeux was right in this case. It was his computer, his house, his rules, and he is a guest in his home. Besides Jimbeux had lots of work to do himself. Maybe Jimbeux wanted to have fun as well on the computer.

If we're to have true equality then no human being whether NT or AS cannot always have what they want because that would cause the power imbalance violet_yoshi is against so much. I'm against the power imbalance as well. To solve this, Jimbeux worked out a compromise which is reasonable to me. In fact, 8 hours is plenty of time and I say Jimbeux is a very reasonable and nice man.

In conclusion, if Jimbeux's girlfriend's son had use of the computer all the time he was there then the son in that case would have power over Jimbeux. In essence, Jimbeux is correct and there was a power imbalance against Jimbeux.

^^ I certainly believe this to be the case also, and this is a basis of my way of thinking. ^^ May I ask, does this extend to non-humans for you? ^^ I believe non-humans and humans to be equal also.

It's still alarms me how society branches, and how frequently people treat others based on entirely obscure points. I've always had this thing that's gotten me into trouble a few times, which is I will engage in conversation in the same ways and with the same understanding that this is just another person out in the world, so there is the same level of respect and kindness no matter what job, race or any different standing than myself. A few times, I didn't realize that the person I was talking to held themselves in a higher regard than myself, a pretty and young girl, about my age, and got all weird about it. I didn't understand that NT's hit on each other and have rules about conduct of who you may speak with.

Cubedemon6073, admitting this is a sign of truly healthy self-esteem. Good for you!

cube, have you seen THIS thread? It's one of the first I posted on WP. Not knowing about the existence of the pecking order in society was what caused most of my problems in life.

I'm pretty much the same, I just don't know any better. there is only one way in which I treat people. that probably explains why in most of my past jobs I always got into trouble with the management while being adored by security/cleaning staff.

Yes, absolutely agree. We are all equals. Some of us have talents others don't, but these are just silly talents. They can either be learned or are happenstances of birth. Some of us have deficiencies others don't. But these can either be unlearned or are happenstances of birth. So if you can learn someone's talents and unlearn your own disabilities, your value is equal to them. Happenstances of birth don't count one way or another because you had no control over them. Therefore, you can neither take unnecessary pride in them, nor beat yourself over the head about them (in terms of your equality or worth to others).

This is the basis for a broader philosophy. For example, some of my equals (through happenstance of birth) were born cats, dogs, squirrels, etc. Taken further, this is the rationale behind why I escort flies and spiders out of my house rather than smushing them.

Our values as living entities are identical to me.

What bothers me is cruelty; be it inflicting intentional pain (for no reason) or name-calling. Bad humans that do these things should NOT BE HURT, but re-educated. Kindly.

DISCLAIMER: This final statement is not targeting anyone reading this! Don't go taking offense... it ain't meant that way.

I get annoyed by strictly social pecking orders which aren't really based on merits or competence alone. I don't understand them and I get angry.

for me it was easy to see who where considered to be the really "cool" people but other then those everyone was the same to me i didnt threat these cool people any different then the rest but it was clear to me how others looked up to them.

I treat people according to how they relate to me. Everyone gets an equal amount of respect and courtesy from me, at first. Then, depending on how my perception of them evolves, that respect can grow or decline. Wealth, status, appearance or background don't come into play.

So I share your distaste (or confusion) regarding pecking orders.

Except when it comes to military hierarchy, I understand it's purpose and importance.

I don't care for hierarchies regardless of whether they are to my benefit or someone else's.

I particularly can't stand people who "use" hierarchy to shove other people down and/or lift themselves up.

And, last but not least, regardless of merit, just because someone "ranks" high/low in one area doesn't mean that they should be similarly regarded in another. You'd think that this would be obvious, but take for example the physician who thinks that because s/he is a trained medical professional s/he is entitled to behave rudely, etc. Sorry--being a physician (or whatever) has nothing to do with being a person.

That's why I like the internet. I can express myself freely without having to worry about the social hierarchy BS.

In real life I have a tendency to avoid people higher on the social hierarchy when theres a conflict. I don't know how to be diplomatic with a-holes above me because my rage boils too high. I can't stand having my intelligence insulted by arrogant block-headed dipsh*ts. It's better to stay away than risk becoming violent and getting arrested. I've had to walk out of meetings in the past. I really need other people to run interference for me. If I could afford a personal attorney to deal with all my people conflicts that would be extremely helpful.

It's one reason why my brief time in the military didnt go so well....I have great difficulty respecting roles--I need to be able to respect the person, not just the function that they serve...which, by the way, they would do well to remember themselves IE we are all cogs in the machine to some extent or another whether we care to admit it or not

Yes. very true cubedemon.
I always want democratic fairness, egalitarianism and equality to rule. i get a whiff of a hierarchy and power imbalance and I hate it. I speak out. Rail against it.

I have not had many jobs in my life - in the normal sense of the word.
However, on the rare occasion I have entered into any kind of group dynamics in a work situation on a menial part-time basis, I BECOME THE WHISTLE BLOWER and eventually have to leave or get ostracised and outed for being TOO honest, TOO idealistic and TOO transparent.

what I have learned is most people pay lip service to these ideals. We get wounded because we try to live them and get downhearted because the gulf between the ideal and the real is so palpably evident and unpsetting to us.

But I still want to maintain these ideals in my life and try for those things. And as a self-driven ASD person, set in her ways, this ideal and the way i can appear to others can also appear discordant. (eg hideously blunt at times, but very caring.) But it is not founded on INTENT but some of the deficits I can have because of my ASD.

^^ yeah the damn whistle blowing... nowdays I try to avoid work related conversations and just talk about the weather lol

Depressing as it is, I'm acutely aware of hierarchies and believe they serve a purpose. People aren't much different from the animal kingdom in this regard. There's a clear pecking order. Those at the top immediately get more respect, and are listened to more readily. Those near the bottom are ignored, and used for the others to vent their angers.

The people at the top tend to be the more 'alpha' types, those with the strongest evolutionary traits. That's the chatty, social, sporty, funny, extroverted types most of the time. It's not normally us.

I don't think it makes us worse people, but it's part of the reality we live in.