How do you deal with change?

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Hi peeps, the other day I was reflecting on the negative way in which I deal with change and have decided to seek advice.

I'm a university student in my 2nd year and when I moved out of my parents and into halls in my first year I developed what I called 'Aspie OCD' in order to cope with all the chaos. I had to move out of halls this year and into a house in town with some different people and I just completely crashed. As in I became completely nochternal and missed lodes of work because everything was just too much. Next year we're moving again and in with different people and I can just sense a crash on the horizen. (I feel as if everyone eles is on steady groud and I'm constantly struggling to get my bearings)

I don't want to go through my entire life crashing because of the slightest change. I feel that this stupid anxiety is stopping me from taking part in most activities and getting jobs etc. So I just want to know how everyone eles deals with change and whether you have any techniques to help me stop me hesitating before taking every step and then shutting down when change does occur?

thankyou.

I'm not sure if its the best way, but i always try and plan for the worse case scenario when it comes to a big change and it almost always works for me. For instance before i started uni last year i imagined what the worst case scenario would be, which involved a lot of bullying, the tutors treating me like ****, work just completely getting on top of me and struggling to survive (i.e making my own dinner etc as i never really had to do that at home before) etc.

By imagining that this would happen, i was able able to plan how to at least minimise these negative impacts.

For instance i decided that i couldn't care less if the other students bullied/taunted me etc and would just completely ignore it and blank it out. Yes, it might mean i might feel lonely, but i do like being by myself in somewhere quiet so i decided it shouldn't really bother me. I also knew i was able to get weekly mentor whom i could discuss any problems i might have (both academic and social problems) and point me in the right direction should i need it, especially if it involved problems with work etc. And also when it came to surviving like making dinner etc, i asked my mum to teach me some essentials so i could at least get by in the few weeks before uni started.

This all meant i now felt confident that i could pretty much handle any challenges that uni life through at me, and meant i no longer felt stressed or particularly anxious as a result (which was total opposite to what my parents were feeling!!)

It has to be said that none of these things actually did happen, as i have found many of the other students very friendly and made some close friends as a result. Also ive been pretty much on top of all my work, and lots of people are asking me for help instead, but if i do find i have a problem i can get help through other people on my course, and my mentor when i need it.

Anyway, i hope that helps and makes sense. Like i said before, i dont know if its the best way to handle it, but expecting the worse certainly works for me. Also, i should say that ever since i started taking this approach (just over 1 year now) i have very very rarely felt stressed as i feel i can handle pretty much any situation thats given to me.

Gassy

I usually try to find something I can "root to": Some normality in the chaos, such as getting a group of friends and then working your way outwards and adapting to the new environment. It's hard, but it's worked for me so far.

Had a similar experience in 2nd year college-this tends to be a difficult time even for NTs (the 'sophmore slump') and especially difficult if you have AS. Personally, I think going directly from home to college was a bad idea for me, and maybe a lot of people (even NTs).
A few years experience living independently and working full-time before college is not a bad idea, if you can land a decent job without a degree (doubtful in today's economy).

A few tips that worked for me:
-Take up breathing and relaxation exercises-they won't do anything for AS, but they will reduce the anxiety, which magnifies sensory overload and can lead to panic attacks/meltdowns.

-Try to find a place by yourself; if you have to live with roomates, try to find nerds who keep to themselves (I was lucky with roomates, but I've heard plenty of horror stories).

-Limit your courses to the minimum, at least until you're on an even keel.

-Stick to a routine as much as possible-especially getting up at the same time (preferably early in the morning).

-Get any assignments (papers, chores, everything) done ASAP; if you put them off they will accumulate and will be done badly or not at all.

This is mostly common sense; but it took me years to figure this stuff out...hope it helps.

how do i deal with change?

i count it carefully and keep all the pennies in a large glass container!

sorry just joking.

i deal with change by embracing it when it is to my advantage, fighting it when it is to my detriment, ignoring it when it doesn't affect me at all, and accepting it when there is no other option.

I find that asking myself what's the worst thing that could happen is helpful, because usually the worst thing that could happen isn't really that bad when thought about logically. Also, after figuring out the worst case scenario it makes all the other possibilities of what could go wrong seem easier to deal with because in comparison AND in reality, they are.

First I get anxious, then I think ahead about what may/ may not happen. Then I imagine myself falling into a new routine.
Example: Get a job: change wake up times, eating times, but make it all into a routine. Routines calm me so when the new wake up times, eating times, break times and leaving work times become a routine I know I'll feel better.
It's easier said than done though.

When I know that there will be a change to something I always ask for as much detail as anyone can give me about the change that is going to happen so I can prepare myself. Sometimes people get annoyed with my questions but it is something that makes me feel calmer about it all. A small example would be a field trip a class I am in was going to take to a local wastewater treatment facility. Since it was out of my normal daily routine I was becoming very stressed. I didn't know who I would be riding with to get there, what the place was like (layout and such), what sensory issues I might have...so I had a talk with the instructor after class and probably asked him about 20-30 questions about what I should expect and prepare for. He is one of the nicest professors in the department - very understanding. Just simple questions such as what kind of sounds are at this place, approximate frequency level, decibal level, constant or abrupt noises, humming/vibration noises...and by the time I left the conversation I was feeling much better about it. Of course this doesn't always guarantee that I will be fine with the change once it happens, but it helps me accept that a change will occur. Hope that helps.

Well, firstly, I get really, horribly anxious.
Then I try to think back to other changes that I've experienced that have been similar to the change that is happening/about to happen. They give me some idea of what to expect, and they also reminded that I survived at the time, and that I'll probably survive this change.

Meltdowns and incidents..sorry,no answers to this.

am do not deal with change [at all],and need to have everything mapped out by staff and reminded regulary so can understand what is going to happen,am do not understand time so that is a good thing because do not notice if something is late or early,if staff who know little about autism change things around in a room,am will end up meltdowning or in an 'incident' and am not able to go in the room for weeks.
have been stuck at mum/dads house for a long while,because the residential home decoraters painted the hall pale blue when it's always been pale yellow,and was supposed to stay the same.
People who do not understand Autism,never understand this and think it's challenging behavior or just being silly.

I tend to over-react and sometimes end up upsetting myself and others - then when I have processed everything that the change entails ... I usually just apologise !

When my surroundings are going through some kind of change, it helps me to settle down a little bit when I do something I'm familiar with doing, such as going online, watching a good tv show, or listening to the sound of a familiar piece of music. This seems to give me some sense of control within a change that is basically out of my control. And another thing that sometimes helps to settle me down during a changing event is to focus and to visualize on the future moment when the change is over and I'm back doing my favorite routines once again.

I don't overreact or anything I just feel annoyed. I kind of turn the change into a new routine kind of thing, like for example 2 years ago at school I was on school dinners instead of sandwiches so I picked what I like and stuck with it and I've had the same thing everyday since. And if it all changed again I would find something within that change I can stick to. Am I making any sense here?
Also there are many changes I welcome, like having my room redecorated or going on holiday abroad instead of where we usually go or having a change of hair style/fashion.

There is one change I can't deal with, it's going to school from my nana's house. I don't know why this is, but if I'm at my nana's into the week when school's on I get extremely upset and stressed. I don't know why but I think it's to do with the fact I associate my nana's house with weekends and if that is different I hate it. I remember last year my family were on holiday for a long weekend and I went my nana's instead, and they were there on Monday and I felt really anxious and upset so I kept begging not to go school and sort of meltdowning, they thought i was being stupid but I just couldn't describe what it making me feel. On the Monday I did go and I was locking myself in the toilets crying all day. For some reason I am OK with change but that one change I just mentioned drives me round the bend.

Terrible. Especially changes in schedule.