Autism And Stimming.....

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Hi, I have a son who is 3 (will be turning 4yrs in July). I have been a little concerned about stimming. First off, since he was 6 months old he would do hand flapping when excited (still does at times), he would crawl backwards. He spins in circles in public at times, he also does this this at home and also paces back and forth alot. Very hyperactive. He is really sensitive emotionally. He has angry outbursts and cry's often (short fuse), and when you tell him no about any little thing he'll scream really loud. He also does alot of toe walking and is very clumsy. He has alot of fascination with numbers and letters. Also, when taking a bath he can notice something as small as a piece of dirt and it will set him off getting upset about it being there. I'm really concerned because he has quite a few of the symptoms of autism, but then what's confusing is that he is extremely affectionate (very clingy), he does seem to want to play with other kids. He's not really aloof or socially isolated, he makes really good eye contact. He seems to be very smart for his age, it's just his behaviour that is confusing me, mostly the stimming. I just don't know what to think about all this, my little sister has autism, but she has a very severe form of it, so it's alot easier to tell with her. I would like to get my son evaluated, but don't really know who to turn to. I live in Los Angeles, Ca. If anyone has any info, it will be greatly appreciated. Thank You

Your son sounds just like my eldest was at the same age. He always walked on his toes, had the strangest of walks, clumsy, couldn't walk a straight line for the school nurse at around 6. But he wasn't at all affectionate and didn't have tantrums any more than expected. He was very fussy about food and wouldn't join in with other kids in pre-school. His language was very slow to start and I ended up home-schooling him till he was 10 and he begged to go to school. He only wanted to do maths and draw all day so it was a relief to hand him over to a good Steiner / Waldorf school where his oddities were accepted.

His class had just started doing circus and amazingly he was the first to master the tight-rope. It took longer to learn the unicycle, but one thing he has in buckets is sheer dogged persistence. He had a sort of naive innocent approach to friendship with his classmates but with such a tiny school they made allowances for him and one boy became a long term friend.

So where is he now? He can be seen riding his unicycle from his on-campus residence to the university where he is doing a double degree in maths and computer science. He is excentric, popular with friends from both his schools, university and part time job, involved in many other areas such as leadership courses, chess team, gaming clubs, interested in many causes, vegetarian, loves debating philosophy and takes an interest in anything and everything. Above all he's happy and enthusiastic about life.

I assume he's not on the spectrum although his (recently AS diagnosed) brother and I probably are. I think he thrived because I accepted him with his peculiarities and went with whatever he needed regarding school and his unusual needs.

So, the main advice I have is to ACCEPT and ENCOURAGE him however he is. Show him love and don't try to change him as that leads to feelings of invalidation. Stims are an important form of comfort and unless he's doing himself harm they should be embraced.