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Stupid things people say (joke)

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hale_bopp
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12 Mar 2005, 6:32 am

Here is a site that cracks me up.

Warning, some people might be offended.

Here are some real warning labels found on things:
http://rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml

Real excuse letters written by parents.
http://rinkworks.com/said/excuses.shtml

Post your favs! :D :D



Civet
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12 Mar 2005, 7:44 am

Heh, maybe I'm just morbid, but these are my favorites:

Quote:
"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

"My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."

"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."


This is by far the best one, in my opinion:

Quote:
"Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault."



ElfMan
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12 Mar 2005, 8:06 am

Thats funny Hale Bopp. I got cruising around the same site and found these kids quotes on science am laughing so much!


http://rinkworks.com/said/kidscience.shtml

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TAFKASH
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12 Mar 2005, 9:53 am

Its not on the site, but my recurring favourite is tranquilisers having the warning "may cause drowsiness"..... Well, duh!! !! Always cracks me up that one. :)

Oh, and bags of nuts that contain "caution: contains nuts" warnings - can't forget them either.... :roll:


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Mockingbird
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12 Mar 2005, 9:56 am

TAFKASH wrote:
Oh, and bags of nuts that contain "caution: contains nuts" warnings - can't forget them either.... :roll:


I think "Caution-May Contain Nuts" is funnier on a package of nuts :lol:



TAFKASH
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12 Mar 2005, 10:04 am

Mockingbird wrote:
TAFKASH wrote:
Oh, and bags of nuts that contain "caution: contains nuts" warnings - can't forget them either.... :roll:


I think "Caution-May Contain Nuts" is funnier on a package of nuts :lol:


Oh yeah - that one was on the site after all... Sorry, hadn't read that far... :roll: As was the tranquilizer one...... Should have the read the site before posting really..... :oops:

Which leads us smoothly into this weeks installment of "Pedanticism 101" - namely that peanuts aren't actually nuts at all, but legumes.......


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duncvis
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12 Mar 2005, 10:16 am

TAFKASH wrote:
Which leads us smoothly into this weeks installment of "Pedanticism 101" - namely that peanuts aren't actually nuts at all, but legumes.......


Shouldn't that be 'pedantry'? :P


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TAFKASH
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12 Mar 2005, 10:22 am

duncvis wrote:
TAFKASH wrote:
Which leads us smoothly into this weeks installment of "Pedanticism 101" - namely that peanuts aren't actually nuts at all, but legumes.......


Shouldn't that be 'pedantry'? :P


That's a dangerous road you're taking us down there old boy..... :evil: I feel a wild off-topic swerve coming on......


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KtMcS
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12 Mar 2005, 11:16 am

As a vegetarian I I have to pay attention to food labelling. What I love is when they put them on obvious foods- I have found 'suitable for vegetarians' on ready-packaged vegetables and 'not suitable for vegetarians' on the packaging of chicken slices.... :roll:


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Mockingbird
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12 Mar 2005, 11:41 am

KtMcS wrote:
As a vegetarian I I have to pay attention to food labelling. What I love is when they put them on obvious foods- I have found 'suitable for vegetarians' on ready-packaged vegetables and 'not suitable for vegetarians' on the packaging of chicken slices.... :roll:


Hehe, I am vegetarian, too, and I found "may be processed on equipment that processes meat" on a bag of frozen burgers :roll: :roll: BTW I love your avatar :wink:



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12 Mar 2005, 1:13 pm

George.W.Bush- the missing link between apes and man :lol: The best evidence for evolution yet!

http://www.signhumor.com/
- lists of actual signs from around the world some are intention and others are signs made with the best of intentions ( one of my favourites being 'no children allowed' on the door of a maternity ward!)


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coyote
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12 Mar 2005, 3:30 pm

What's funniest about odd warning labels is knowing that they probably put it there after having been sued by an idiot who actually did the thing and got injured :roll:



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12 Mar 2005, 3:48 pm

Quote:
"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.
Classic! :lol:

Quote:
"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
Where were they using it internally?! 8O

Quote:
"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
Lovely. :lol:

Quote:
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
Sadly, I'm sure there are people out there that would do it.

Quote:
"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
I really have nothing to say about this one.



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12 Mar 2005, 4:00 pm

Quote:
"Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night."
About the last line: Too much information!! :lol:

Quote:
"Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor."
That is a very interesting and creative medical treatment.

Quote:
"Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."
So...that's how it is in their family. (Yes, that line is from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.)



hale_bopp
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12 Mar 2005, 6:40 pm

Civet wrote:

This is by far the best one, in my opinion:

Quote:
"Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault."


That's my fav, too. By far the best.



thechadmaster
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21 Mar 2005, 5:31 pm

Found on a bottle of hand soap: "use as you would any other liquid hand soap"

hmmm, what other use is there?