How to break the news?

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I have AS for certain. How do I break the news to my parents, and how do I describe the condition? I don't want to give them a "textbook" description, as it may make me sound ret*d or something. A lot of the AS symptoms are present, in fact all of them, but only the social bit affects my life in a serious way Any advice is good advice...

You don't have to 'break the news', just tell them casually. If you make a big deal out of it then so will they. Just tell them that you finally found an answer for your social difficulties, if they ask what symptoms you have then it might not be such a bad idea to give them a 'textbook' description of the ones you have. You never know, they might agree with you.

seems like a good idea actually Would it be better to go get diagnosed first before I say anything? I have AS 100% but if it's "official" then I can get the support I need too

If you have any relatives that probably had AS you might want to try to explain to them that you inherited some characteristics from that person. This way you don’t really have to make them understand what AS is.

Just tell them. You don't have to do it in the "right way". Just casually start talking about it.

how exactly does one go to get properly diagnosed? i wouldn't even know where to start. do they immediately want to put you on meds? i live in a semi-rural area that isn't exactly conducive to proper mental help, if what i witness almost daily at the hospital is any indication..

Get hold of the book; "All Cats have Aspergers". It's a picture book and it can be "read" in 30 minutes without difficulty.

Since Aspergers is mostly a label which describes a particular series of symptoms (ignoring the whole "wired differently" thing for a while - so we can concentrate on what they see), the book describes the things that they should see in you.

There's a good chance that they'll reject your diagnosis. Don't worry if they do. It's better that they agree that;

a. You're a bit like the cats in the book
b. You're you. You're not going to change and you're the same child they raised.

It might depend on your parents. Im 47 and my parents are too old to be told. Also they are totally hopeless at dealing with any kind of issues. In my family someone weaker was always picked on. My mother would like an excuse for more munchausen by-proxy. Have a think about your family, are they able to help? Maybe you should come to terms first. Maybe you would do better to work on your social skills by yourself without being 'a patient'.

Just playing devils advocate to the idea of telling the parents*.


* Your parents may vary.

One of them will never accept it, in my case.

How to tell your parents?

How to drop a bomb shell more like.


I wish that professionals had been positive and encouraging with my parents and given them proper information. Also a proper objective scientific test would have helped them accept it. This was over 15 years ago though, and given my "treatment", we're all still happy to deny AS because the label and people's reactions to it caused me so many problems.

Notice I said label and not the condition itself.

I didn't need to because my mum & dad were with me when I got diagnosed.