What's the point of moving out at 18?
Well I guess it depends on how willing you are to cope with the family/people you live with right now.
Everyone has financial problems no matter what state of living they're in.
If the people you are living with are making your life unbearable for the most part then it's understandable that one would want to move out as soon as they can.
For some people, independence actually makes them a better person. I know it does for me...but you're right. My financial situation is the only reason I am not out of my parents place yet but I'm working on that.
If you get on well with your family there's not much point, but then, you don't want to stay at home too long either, that can be weird. I suppose some ethnicities never move out, like the parents build a big house so there kids can live with them, but I don't know if that's a thing of the past now too.
American gangster was a good movie, he moved all his family into a big house. Then started kicking them out one by one (or killing them when they started wearing gold chains?)... although still practiced today it seems that relatives are best left at distance.
But the point of moving out - is to live your own life. Money will come slowly - and will disappear just as fast if you live at home. The only difference would be your point of view in life. I just bought a house of my own and I'm completely independent - although it may have seemed unimaginable 10 years ago ... at the moment its just plain boring.
So perhaps the point of moving out is to be bored?
*shrugs*
In legal terms its the "I raised you so now CPS isn't going to get on me for kicking you out but your getting out now because your braces and food cost me a bmw and a bunch of alcohol, so get your stuff and get out...." for parents. And either "OMG, I'm 18 and have to move out." ... or "These people suck, YAY" ... for the kids.
ChatBrat
Veteran
Joined: 1 Feb 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 501
Location: On the Wrong Planet with you
I was never in a hurry for my older kids to move out at the age of 18. Why is 18 the magical age? You can't even buy or drink alcohol in most states until you're 21, so obviously some people think that you're still a kid at 18.
If it wasn't for the men that I've had in my life supporting me, I'd either be living in government housing (which I have done a few times) or I'd be homeless (been there and done that for a short period of time, too). I've never used a man... it just happened that I fell in love with men who didn't mind letting me stay at home.
I cannot take care of myself like most people are capable of. I can barely keep up with my responsibilities. I'm disorganized, I have a horrible memory, I have problems with being lackadaisical, I'm a social misfit, I am a loner (besides my immediate family), I have agoraphobia to a certain degree, and I'm depressed most of the time.
I have two adult children and one teenager and I have grand children. I don't know how they survived me at times. I took good care of them as best I could, but I embarrassed them. Still do.
Anyways, back to your question. If you're not ready to move out at 18 and your parents are fine with you staying at home, then that's pretty awesome. When and if you're ready to move out, you will and you'll do fine. Take time to get to know yourself better... have your parents teach you basic living skills like cooking, cleaning, opening a checking account, a savings account, driving, etc etc. The more you learn, the better off you'll be to take care of yourself OR to live half way independently either in your parents home or an special apartment complex that is for people with mild to moderate disabilities. Independence feels like a long cool drink of water on a blistery hot day.
Ambivalence
Veteran
Joined: 8 Nov 2008
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,613
Location: Peterlee (for Industry)
It's a Western cultural thing, I think. It's never made that much sense to me, as a single person, but then I'm not really capable of sustained independent living (I have done for a while, but it did not go well.) I could see myself moving in with someone else, but not going off on my own.
_________________
No one has gone missing or died.
The year is still young.
richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind
there is no point. in america its a cultural thingy. ret*d if you ask me, ive moved back in with my mom this last two months, because i had nowhere else to go. i do now, and will be moving into my own apartment on the sunnyside when the sun comes up. sunnyside is just the name for the neighbourhood because thats where the sun hits first
Because of unnecessary and stupid social directives that say you should move out. But seriously, in my classes at university, 50% of students still live at home, and 40% live in a flat which is paid for by a free governmental allowance. Less than one in ten has moved out under their own power.
And speaking of the government, I believe that they actually encourage this mindset, as to keep more people poor and thus under there control.
For me.... I need to.. realy need to. I have surived this long on the fact it will be over soon.
And when I'm 18 I will get money so It's fine.
though I know other people won't have it as easy.
_________________
existence is your only oblitgation
Quietly fighting for the greater good.
ardea_rising
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 10 May 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 59
Location: The Grim North
I did not move out until I was 24, i was lucky enough to get a flat in the same village that i grew up in so i did not have to worry about settling into a new community. I do not mind my own company so i am fine living on my own in that sense but i am currently unable to work for various reasons. I have no financial support from my family, it's not that they don't care (well my father does not seem to care) but my mother is now a single parent looking after my 12 year old sister and is just as poor as i am, she is currently unemployed. This is problematic as i did not have a great deal of things when i moved in, all i have really to entertainment my self with is a few books, most of which I’ve read numerous times and the TV and the boredom just does my head in. If i had a pc like this at home, with internet connection, Photoshop, flash and fruity loops on it i would be fine i think but i don't. I recently had my benefits stopped and i have no way of paying the rent, never mind the bills i am already behind on, so unless something miraculous happens i will be getting evicted sometime in a very near future, I just hope my mum lets me stay here for a while until i find my way in life again. I moved during the most stressful period of my life when i had a lot of things going on. This is why i moved, my stress was effecting the other people who i lived with in a negative way, i was never really ready or prepared for the move.
Hard call. I believe family should stick together because contributing to a common home results in better quality of life for all.
However, that presumes you can all get along. A major issue is that parents must respect the child's need to find their own path and let them "grow up." A big part of that normally happens when the child bears a significant portion of supporting the household.
Sadly, in America, it is seen as a deficiency for a man to live with his parents beyond 18 short of a national depression (as we have now) or a sick parent that needs constant care. It makes no sense to move out as long as you and your parents get along sufficiently, but a man would be emasculated in the view of many people if he was still living with "mom and dad" when he "should be" out making his mark in the world.
It is curious this cultural difference.
In my country (somewhere in Europe), the cultural, "stupid social directive" is that you should stay at your parent's home until you are married.
And, when a young person decides to move and to will live alone, sometime he have to do this almost by suprise - one day, simply saying to his parents "I am moving to my house. Goodby - see you tomorrow". This (the "acomplished fact" tactic) is the ony way of avoiding weeks/moths of discussions style "You are crazy?! You are so well with us! What you will go do alone in at home!?".
Because that, all this talk of "being in a hurry for older kids to move out", or "being kicked out", or movies like "Failure to Launch" seems, to me, like things from another planet.
It is curious this cultural difference.
In my country (somewhere in Europe), the cultural, "stupid social directive" is that you should stay at your parent's home until you are married.
And, when a young person decides to move and to will live alone, sometime he have to do this almost by suprise - one day, simply saying to his parents "I am moving to my house. Goodby - see you tomorrow". This (the "acomplished fact" tactic) is the ony way of avoiding weeks/moths of discussions style "You are crazy?! You are so well with us! What you will go do alone in at home!?".
Because that, all this talk of "being in a hurry for older kids to move out", or "being kicked out", or movies like "Failure to Launch" seems, to me, like things from another planet.
Your culture seems very cool!
I wanted to move out at 17, after spending a year living in a dorm, but my mother wouldn't let me. My mother is very bad, so now I live on almost the other side of the world. I needed to get away.
It can get lonely living on your own, but at the same very comfortable. No pretending, or compromising. You are free to do what you want.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
I'M MOVING OUT! |
20 Aug 2024, 1:52 am |
Tips on Moving Forward From Disruptions |
10 Aug 2024, 1:04 pm |
Amateur Astronomers Spot An Object Moving At 1 Million MPH |
18 Aug 2024, 9:04 pm |