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"Fake it till you make it" is harmful

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beneficii
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11 Jan 2016, 11:26 pm

A lot of us here have had extensive social skills training, which is designed to make us seem acceptable to NT people:

http://qz.com/588172/fake-it-til-you-ma ... l-immoral/


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Grammar Geek
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12 Jan 2016, 12:07 am

So what do we do instead? Be ourselves and drive everyone else away due to our quirkiness?



League_Girl
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12 Jan 2016, 12:24 am

So it's harmful for NTs too.


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12 Jan 2016, 6:17 am

Grammar Geek wrote:
So what do we do instead? Be ourselves and drive everyone else away due to our quirkiness?


Maybe we could just genuinely try to figure out ways to get on well with people, NT or ASD or otherwise? It's not fake to try at something difficult and I feel that, for me anyway, it's better than pretending to be something I'm not.

So for instance, when given a Christmas present that I don't like, I say thank-you and try to think of something genuinely positive about the gift even when, overall, I don't like it. I know that I'd rather say, 'I don't like it' and there is authenticity in that, but I genuinely want to behave in ways which are helpful to the people around me if I can, so finding some kind of positive is true to that.

I'm not sure if I've explained this very well. I hope you get what I'm trying to say.


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