do you ever have so much to say but can't?

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verbally my language sucks, most of the time i spurt out phrases like where we going? or hello? over and over, other then that its just random words, a lot of echolalia or noises that some people don't think I have really anything ever intellegent to say . It ticks me off, we've had people tell jim and my family they were amazed i had actual real thoughts when i would text them or type them a msg , like since my verbal language sucks doesnt mean that i dont have anything intellegent to say, yea know? In reality, i have sooo much to say but can't get any of it out. Is anybody else like that? where they have so much they want to say, but literally just can't

yea sometimes, i manage to say a bit but then sometimes "dry up" & the words are very hard to get out.
i think people would think i'm weird either way, but this doesn't help..
it often happens when i really do wanna talk, then i slow down, start mumbling & start forgetting what i was trying to say.
unless people ask specific questions then i kinda HAVE to answer.

Definitely i try to talk but i have three possible things in my head and i'm usually debating with one to say - then i get stressed as i know i have three things in my head to say and have to decide on one and if i can't i'll look like an idiot/moron

Last edited by lordmutt on 18 May 2009, 12:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Happens to me eventually specially in situation under a lot of social stress.

The solution? start wrinting discurses about what I have to say and reading them until I more or less know what I have to say... even if I had a fight with someone and it takes me a week to understand the situation and then answer (invalid time for a NT to answer) I do it. It has helped me to get just a little bit faster when reacting on a conversation, if I don't do it I can always take my time writing down and organizing my ideas... there will always be a chance (or a forced moment to say the things I wrote.

Similar things have happened to me. Like if I'm talking to someone I feel anxious with I have to literally force my words out and it doesn't feel natural at all, like some sort of speech constipation

At times.

I'm in yet another position than you I guess because I'm totally sliding from one end of to the other. So people expect I have lots of thoughts and opinions even when I can't voice them, because at other times I can talk just fine, even if grammatically incorrect.

I can talk very well, people often like to listen to my presentations best.

When it comes to things that are purely in my mind (nothing I can research such as history facts or biology processes) I find explaining myself suddenly difficult.

Half of the time, it takes effort for someone to understand. I don't get the hang out of 'who' 'where' 'what' 'when' somehow. Ahhhh, I don't know why!

The other half of the time when someone asks me "what's it like? explain" I can't. That's when I literally can't talk about something normal and simple, though I can still talk about everything else.

Sometimes though now very rarely I just can't talk. Zero words, my mouth got disconnected from my brain somehow.

I have this problem constantly, I'm an extremely intelligent person (not trying to be arrogant, I have an IQ of 143 and a lot of opinions ) but when I try to say it it comes out as a blurted mess. Today I was trying to convey to my friends the irony of people using the phrase "two wrongs don't make a right". But if a person was killed, and their murderer was caught, he would be put behind bars for life. Is sticking someone behind bars a nice thing to do? Do they enjoy it? No. That's the concept behind our whole justice system though. Two wrongs make a right.

When I tried to say that, it came out as a pile of ungrammatical gibberish and they didn't get me

I freeze a lot, especially when asked about something socially or emotionally charged, or when I am having trouble understanding the intent. Sometimes I give away too much information when I can't tactfully avoid a question, too, and this usually also accompanies momentary freezing.

I've had a woman say "Oh, you couldn't be getting your Ph.D." as recently as the summer of 2007. Was she just being a jerk? Is it common for science Ph.D.s to care about whether what they say is accurate, and not strictly of entertainment value? Is my supposed deficit in communication really just someone else's difficulty in estimating my financial prospects, which I intend to keep private anyway?

Yes! This happens to me constantly, too. I get overwhelmed, both verbally and when writing - tongue-tied, word-tied - and usually just give up. It takes me so much time to organize and articulate thoughts, only a fraction of them actually see the light of day. Writing is so much easier than talking, but takes... me... forever.

I think in words, but some things I just can't word.

So true. I am a horrible story teller. Jokes that involve stories I might as well not tell, because I will just hack the whole thing up.

I can make a very well-organized paragraph with supporting points and conclusions, though. Just not necessarily in story form.

Age,
this is why am really recommend starting a blog,and getting all the things out that way,and then pass on the link to it,to anyone that want to in family/people who do not understand self well etc,so they can get a true understanding of self,and are not able to judge via the verbal impairment.
Am was encouraged to write a book by own LD nurse and service manager-after they were passed on the link by staff,as they said they learnt a lot more about autism in it than what they have gotten taught in years of training.

It would help own situation a lot with helping others to understand self.
that is assuming everyone has a computer/internet access.

That's me!! !

Oh don't I know it.

At times I can't organise my thoughts because they all come at me at once. Then to try to say what you're thinking? The next step is stuttering, especially when excited. Then comes the long pause to slow things down and try to regroup those thoughts. That's when NT's lose patientce and leave, thinking you're a moron.

I know it's not their fault, I know it's not my fault. Frustrating as it may be, I try to not let it bother me. Most of the time it works.

Just keep trying.

There are plenty of times where an idea or concept makes perfect sense to me. I understand it the idea or concept completely, and yet there are times when I cannot explain it to somebody else. I just can't get the words out.

There are plenty of times where I can explain myself. People know me as opinionated and argumentative (I just like to keep things accurate really). It's unfortunate that there are plenty of times that I can't explain myself though.

It's a very frustrating experience.

I agree that this would be a good idea.

Age, you say that sometimes people are surprised that you have actual thoughts. I think this is where people, in general, are simply lacking in knowledge about autism. They can't see inside your mind, and if all they have experiences of you are times when you are non-verbal or saying "ello ello", then they simply don't know any better.

I never gave much thought to autism or being nonverbal, because I'm on the "mild AS" end of the spectrum. But lately, I realize that in a smaller, less obvious way, it does happen to me. I only have a handful of people that I talk to, and we each have pretty specific things that we talk about. When I have to deviate from that, I find that the words just don't come. I know what I want to say, but not in words, so I have a bit of awkward silence while I try to come up with the words, and sometimes NO words come at all. I don't believe that I "look" autistic to other people when that happens. I think I just appear to be considering my answer. And then, when I take too long to answer, the other person chimes in, and I never do say the thing that was on my mind.

Actually, come to think of it, when I'm considering my answer, sometimes people will look amused or say, "you're so funny" or "you're so cute", which is a real distraction, and makes me think they are a nut. But people do that a lot, so maybe I do look unusual when I'm trying to think of what to say. Hmm, I never thought of that before. It sure would be nice to get some kind of feedback that wasn't cryptic.