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Aspie202
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18 Dec 2015, 7:27 pm

Recently, my mom has been coming home in a bad mood. She starts nagging me the instant she gets in the doorway, and is bent on making me miserable for the rest of the day. It's not just her, it's my dad, too. He said I can't take my earmuffs to school because he "can't trust me". I tell him all the kids there are too loud, but he doesn't listen. He also hates that I have a emotional attachment to them, and he hid them from me, which devastated me. What can I do to make this stop? :pale:


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Aspie202
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18 Dec 2015, 7:29 pm

They also said that biting my nails "can put our whole family at risk" somehow. This is a habit, and they both seem to hate it.


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kraftiekortie
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18 Dec 2015, 7:36 pm

Your parents say weird things. How can biting your nails affect the family? I guess they don't want you to do it in public.

I think their problem is that they don't want to be embarrassed. They feel you having earmuffs is "weird," so you'll look weird to other people.



Aspie202
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18 Dec 2015, 7:37 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Your parents say weird things. How can biting your nails affect the family? I guess they don't want you to do it in public.

I think their problem is that they don't want to be embarrassed. They feel you having earmuffs is "weird," so you'll look weird to other people.


Ah, I see now.


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19 Dec 2015, 3:09 am

Omg that sucks. Take steps to leave home. It'seems not as difficult as it seems and then you'll have more freedom. You can tell your parents where your living later when you know they will respect you. Just make sure you don't get tracked



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19 Dec 2015, 3:15 am

My mother always goes batshit mad at me when I fall enslaved to my ICD's and OCD's, you're not alone.



kraftiekortie
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19 Dec 2015, 8:37 am

I think the OP is 14 years old.



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19 Dec 2015, 8:48 am

I am sorry you are going trough this. I think the nail biting comment is because you can get serious infections from nail biting. And they can be hard to treat. I don't know how contagious the are though but I do know that you can get them. I had a friend who got one and it was not a good situation. Nail biting is a really bad habit so if you can find another stim that is not a bad habit see if you can change your stim just to minimize your own health risks. Plenty of people bite their nails and are ok but you don't want to get an infection so if you can change that habit that would be best. And also if you don't wash your hands all the time you are putting saliva on everything you touch. Maybe that is why they made the comment about it affecting the whole family.

About the earmuffs, I really feel you on that one. Sometimes I wear mine in public because the noise is just overwhelming. I have gotten to the point where I really don't care what people think about me wearing them and I just wear them whenever and where ever I want. If your sound sensitivity is as bad as mine they really need to understand that. Maybe a school nurse or counselor can talk to them and explain to them that it is fine for you to wear them at school and that you actually need to wear them at school.


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19 Dec 2015, 10:07 am

Off Topic but this thread reminded me of a old Renegade Soundwave song


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19 Dec 2015, 12:03 pm

Ah sorry don't take my advice. You'd probably have to wait a bit anyways and it's kinda difficult because you must find a place to stay and get income somehow.
I'm not sure what will help but I think your parents are going over the top, especially about the nail biting thing. They should feel glad you are not into worse things lol.I think they should appreciate you as you are. Maybe they care a lot about how others see them and think how you are reflects on them. Your parents likely mean well but go about it in a bad way.



Aspie202
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19 Dec 2015, 3:54 pm

Today, he wrestled me in the middle of a store, and tried to take my wallet and my money out of my pocket because I didn't want to buy a new laptop, I wanted to buy a nerf gun.


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Starfoxx
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19 Dec 2015, 4:16 pm

Aspie202 wrote:
Today, he wrestled me in the middle of a store, and tried to take my wallet and my money out of my pocket because I didn't want to buy a new laptop, I wanted to buy a nerf gun.

I rekon he was thinking a laptop would be better. It can be used for studying etc. Your at an age where you must begin to think of the future also. A laptop can last a few years longer too. Maybe you could ask for a nerf gun for your next birthday or something? I'm not sure on your situation but is there any neighbours you could do work for for some cash? My brother does work for a neighbour sometimes and he's 14 but he's lucky because the neighbour is a friend. If your parents give pocket money, perhaps you can help with the chores. Some parents give gifts if you get good grades. That's another way.



xile123
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19 Dec 2015, 6:47 pm

Your dad sounds like a real jerk tbh



Aspie202
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26 Dec 2015, 7:16 pm

My mom also yells at me about little things, such as not knowing how to wash dishes, or remember to put them in the dishwasher instead of the sink. She also hates it when I change my phone's or laptop's password, and it seems to bother her if she doesn't have easy access to my phone. When I get it back, I see the facebook and my social media apps were left open, which means she has been snooping. Any way to make the snooping stop?


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26 Dec 2015, 8:37 pm

I'm from a dysfunctional family and can relate to your issues. I am now an adult and can offer you my advice. My family had a difficult time accepting and dealing with the fact that I had an illness that is not curable. They never sought help outside of the family nor advice about my condition. They were also controlling and mean. When I look back now, I realize that they themselves were at a loss how to deal with my illness. The best way to deal with controlling and mean parents is to reduce conflict and just do what they say unless it is harming you in some manner. I cannot stress their way or the highway attitude is not because they hate you or trying to make your life miserable, they actually care much about you but don't know much about how to deal with your condition. Are they in any support groups or know of others with your condition? I don't think so. They are struggling to take care of you as well as of your condition. Does this make sense? I don't see any constructive outcome by creating more conflict with them. In the meantime, since you are only 14 years old, try to find someone may be a school counselor or family friend or social network, such as this site where or whom you can confide in and vent your feelings. I don't think it is wise to create more problems by going against your parents' wishes. I've been there and made some major life mistakes by trying to go against my parents. In the end, my parents were the only people who helped me through my life and made me who I am today. Your parents may at this point seem uncaring and unloving, but the exact opposite is true. They care but in a dysfunctional way. Please try to forgive them and do what they say for now until you have the means to become independent and be on your own. You never know what may happen if you changed your attitude now. They may actually change theirs and become less controlling and mean. If you could, please continue writing here.



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26 Dec 2015, 8:45 pm

Maybe your mom is snooping because she's concerned about you using social media at your age. Some people(especially teens & kids) are pretty irresponsible with it & chat with some nefarious people.


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