Special Interest

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My 4 1/2 year old "Aspie" son's special interest is WEAPONS . Guns, knives, swords etc... We have been trying for a long time to ignore this interest and have tried to guide him in another direction but , I will not continue fighting it . If this is what my son is interested in I want to be supportive of that.

My question is - How can I help him develop his interest in a healthy way? Any suggestions? Please help me , I dont care what the doctors or other parents have to say. I want to know from my sons peers.

I also forgot to mention that he is continually asking me for a "military" uniform.

Even though his special interest might seem disturbing it's most likely very harmless. Boys have been into this stuff since time and memorial, so I guess this might just be the AS extreme of that interest. I understand the concern though.

Maybe you could take him to military history museums or something? Fencing or Kendo classes?

Yeah, well, don't give him any real weapons to play with.

No, seriously - you're in a difficult situation there. While it is perfectly normal for young boys to play with toy guns, a real obsession with that sort of thing will be a major social problem, not only for the kid but also for the parents (who will be faced with accusations of belonging to certain political groups I'm sure you don't want anything to do with). You can NOT allow him to live this out! When he gets older, people will not only consider him weird but also might react violently when they feel threatened. (To be fair, they can't be blamed. I'd definitely be uncomfortable in the company of someone with weird/unpredictable social behavior and an unhealthy affinity to weapons.) This obsession is dangerous and might get your son into serious trouble.

Give him fakes; models?

Make sure he also learns about why violence/war is wrong etc, and dont let him carry them around in public.

direct his interest into the mechanics and construction of guns and military history - that way he could make a career by working in museum or at an antique gun shop

get rid of the tv and computer right now or it will focus his interest on violence

You are a very understanding mom--your son is lucky to have you! AS special interests can't really be ignored or channeled into something else, but most kids do grow out of their first obsession. Hardly any of us talk about dinosaurs or trains all the time as adults.

One thing that pleases us is to have an encyclopedic knowledge about our subjects of interest, so you might want to check out some books about the varieties and history of weaponry.

Here's one for kids: http://www.amazon.com/Arms-Armor-DK-Eye ... 0756606543

Here's a more general reference work: http://www.amazon.com/Weapon-Visual-His ... 0756622107

It sounds like he's been watching action films, lol. You could get him some camoflage clothing. There's an amusement park here that sells fake rifles. The skinny kind with the long barrel. The kind someone like Davy Crocket might have had. You can get him something like that. There's so many toy replicas it should be easy finding stuff for him.

He has actually NEVER! watched action films. This all started when he saw a knight in a kids movie and was terrified , but at the same time very interested in armor and swords etc... Later he got into "star wars" and lightsabers , than it was "Pirates of the Carribean" and pirate guns. Now "out of the blue" he tells me he wants a military uniform, well specifically a "sargent uniform".

He actually just started Karate and now is interested in Samuri Swords an nunchucks.
full of toy soldiers and a whole combat field (a birthday gift from "a friend") and he loves it .

We were actually kind of worried when he began with this fixation because we felt it was not healthy and we explained to him almost everyday how much we dislike weapons (which we do, we hate guns) and how it is wrong to hurt people . He is not a violent or aggressive child he is actually the complete oppossite of that . He is a sweet and passive little boy and sometimes I think this is his interpretation of being an Alpha male. He has a tough time making friends , especially male friends since at this age they tend to be very competative, athletic and some what aggressive and he does not seem to completly grasp that concept.

I love Pirates of the Caribbean! I've always envied the life of merchant marines, even though a pirate isn't one, they all travel the seas. It would be so cool to be able to stay at sea for months at a time. I don't know how I'd feel after being there for half a year. I might be tired of it by then and never want to see an ocean again.
Liking swords and guns isn't that uncommon where I live. Lots of kids like cowboys, indians and soldiers. They like Star Wars and other movies with lots of action. I don't think that's too uncommon of an interest. My cousins were all into those types of interests as kids. They had B B guns and everything.
Nunchucks are kinda scary. I don't think those are legal where I live so you might wanna check on that. Not sure about all fifty states.

ROTC? Cub Scouts?

There is nothing wrong, unhealthy or violent about an interest in weapons. Just because a few people with extreme untreated cases of mental illness had a public breakdown, does not mean that everyone with an interest will kill people!
The fact that people (aspie or normal) would consider this only indicates that persons fear and ignorance.

There are some martial arts that teach weapons use in the higher level belts. Depending on what form of martial arts, some of the weapons I have heard about include poles, kendo (a non pointy bamboo sword), steel fans (I have one of these, they are actually a defensive item), swords, etc. ask around about martial arts classes, most sensei's should be happy for you to watch a class to see if you are interested.

The advantage with training in martial arts is that they teach discipline, encourage fitness, are a potential social outlet (always important for an aspie), and best of all they are monitored by an experienced sensei. When I was studying go kan ryu karate, the teachers were always made sure to stress the importance of not mis-using what they taught. They were very strict about that. And by the time he gets to the more advanced levels, he will either have moved on from weapons, or will have gained enough maturity to handle them properly.

Please do not try to ban or take away his obsessive interests. If he cant access them openly, he will find ways to satsisfy them secretly. An interest in weapons is not a bad thing, but it would probably be good to be monitored and contained.

Make sure that he understands that some states have outlawed some weapons, and steer him towards legal ones. As long as he realises that everyone has to abide the same rules, he is more likely to cooperate, particularly if there is an acceptable alternative.

Have him watch mcgyver. I dont know. I dont feel what he likes is bad just like someone with a porn special interest does not make that interest bad. Just help him figure out ways to use this special interest. If he can learn about all sorts of weapons excluding atom bombs. I hate the idea of people having their interest gotten rid of by scared parents. Teach him that learning about weapons is good using them for harm is bad. And dont let him go into the wilderness and become a survivalist who feels the government is out to kill him.

Of course not. The interest itself is completely harmless. It's just that you can't exactly walk up to a stranger brandishing a weapon, asking "Hey, do you want to discuss the technical aspects of that thing with me or are you going to shoot into the crowd?"... I doubt anyone wants to take THAT chance. So I fear weapons and social difficulties don't go together well. If someone is carrying a gun and displaying any, ANY behavior out of the ordinary, then yes, I will feel threatened. That doesn't have anything to do with ignorance. There's simply no safe way to tell whether that strange person is perfectly harmless or not.
(And yes, I know people with AS are most likely not aggressive, however, please remember, if I don't know someone, I won't know anything about any diagnosis either.)
I'm not sure how good or bad the kid's communication skills are, but when he's a bit older, carrying a weapon in public and not able to clarify the situation, it might escalate. An Aspie is most likely NOT going to notice when someone is uncomfortable or even scared! Aspie males are more likely to get into violent confrontations anyway because they fail to recognize the signals in time, so with weapons the risk is likely going to increase.
So the question is not whether the boy in question is a threat to others. I'm sure he's not. He will just be perceived as one and I fear for his own safety.

you will have a hard time convincing him that military history is more interesting then *bang! pow powpow tat tat tat tat tat mrrrrrrrrrooow*
don't worry though i used to love all those things. now i'm an anarchist, who believe's strongly in non-violent civil disobedience.

i met this wonderful kid when i was teaching, he could tell me every model of tank used in WWII, yet he had no concept of what WWII was about, it's just about the things, having millions of categories, sounds, functions.
i found it really blood curdling at first, and then i remembered what i was like as a youngster