Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but please look in a few websites to look at the hot girls first.

I wish I can eat an egg within 3 seconds.

Granted. You can do that humanely, but it is not very comfortable to eat the shell, too.

I wish for a herring, to smite my enemies with.

Granted, but please give me enough money to give you a trip to the farms...

I wish I can get to meet you soon?

Granted, but due to pronoun confusion, you meet everyone who reads that post, ever, in quite a small room, at once.

I wish I could draw better comics?

Granted, but give me some time to bring some paper and pen for you.

I wish I can meet Allen Iverson in his car.

Granted! A restraning order is filed against you.

I wish I had encyclopedia-like knowledge of gardening.

Granted, but you become so absorbed in your gardening that you lose your social life.

I wish to go backpacking across Europe.

Granted, but you break your leg.

I wish that dinner could cook itself.

Granted, but one day, the oven will explode due to being too overworked by cooking food itself.

I wish that the house could levitate.

Granted.... once your house starts levitating... you leave the house and then come back and the house is gone....

I wish it could snow tomorrow...

Granted. You get snowed in. 4 feet of snow. Have fun.

I wish for NASA to get better funding.

Granted, no corruption.

I wish that I could control how high the house goes when it levitates, so I don't fall from the sky or I don't see the house anymore.

Wish granted, but do you have an airplane license?

I wish I can have Allen Iverson as my landlord.

Granted, Allen Iverson has opened a house on a remote island on the pacific. You are now resident there. The rent is £10000 per month and there is no water or electricity.

I wish I had a steak and kidney pudding with chips and lashings of gravy.

Granted, but you have to pay me $100 to cook it.

I wish that I could be rich enough to go to the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Games.

Granted. However, you have to withstand massive traffic jams in the roads to reach Vancouver even if you live there, so what if you're rich?

It is unfair that Allen Iverson gave me a house on the Pacific, not in his native Hampton Roads! So I wish I can be the Answer's bodyguard.