Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, they are very friendly towards each other but Xenophobic towards other species.

I wish I could live a quiet peaceful life with no money worries and spend my time in the garden, writing software and meditating.

Granted. Nice men in white overalls find you sitting and drooling in your garden, writing "software" a million times in the ground with a stick.

~

I wish the granter of this wish didn't grant it.

Granted, ungranted, granted, ungranted, granted, ungranted, granted, ungranted, granted, BANG. The universe explodes in a cloud of ill-conceived logic.

I wish for sunshine all next week.

Granted. The weather will be nice, but a volcano will erupt quite unexpectedly in the middle of your garden tomorrow.

~

I wish I owned TallyMan's garden and had him pay me rent for using it.

Granted, he pays you miserably for doing all the work in the garden for him.


I wish I didn't have a headache right now.

Wish granted without corruption.

I wish never to get any more migraine type headaches.

That was granted without a corruption as well!!


I wish I knew all the secrets of the universe.

Granted, (me too) but with this omniscience comes boredom. You know everything there is to know and there are no more surprises, no more exploration of the unknown.

I wish the Star Ship Enterprise was real and I was visiting new planets.

Granted. But your legs got eaten by an alien mushroom on one of your trips.

~

I wish I'd find a girl who would love me for who I am.

Granted. She's a fat ugly creepy girl who won't leave you alone for even a second.

I wish for world peace.

Granted, after a massive nuclear explosion the world is now in pieces.

I wish for another sunny day tomorrow.

Granted; it will be rainy the next day.

I wish for a faster day today.

Granted, due to the Earth rearranging its magnetic core the planet speeds up its spin, causing earthquakes worldwide.

I wish it was tomorrow yesterday.

Granted, it was tomorrow yesterday, and today is day before yesterday, and yesterday was day before tomorrow.


I wish I could live inside the computer.

Granted, however, instead of being part of the electronics you are a dust mite making a comfy home on top of the warm microprocessor.

I wish my brain was linked to the huge self-aware supercomputer that is built in the year 2073.

Granted, but you lost your freedom as well. You have been ingrained into the machine and resistance is as futile as can be.


I wish I had a Tesla coil.