Corrupt A Wish

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Denied.

I wish this is the last wish in this thread and no one follows.

Granted. This is not a post, and I am Nobody.

I wish I had more energy today.

Granted, several sales people phone you with offers for gas, electricity, coal and oil.

I wish the lawn didn't need mowing.

Granted ... it's my lawn that doesn't need mowing (I wish).

I wish my lawn didn't need mowing!

Granted, the local town has built a heliport on it. But they do pay you 1 cent for every helicopter that takes off and lands (between 1 am and 6 am only)

I wish I could see into the future.

Granted, it turns out to be extremely boring.

I wish my dad would finish decorating so that I can go back home.

Granted. He has finished decorating all in pink and purple ruffles and lace.

I wish my near future were a little more settled.

Granted, the men in black have arrived to take you into custody for being an illegal (space) alien.

I wish to get back to work now...

Granted, the men in uniform have come to take you back to the chain gang.

I wish I didn't have to get back to work now....

Granted, you have lost all your customers and can't work any more.

I wish for some lettuce.

Granted. "Dearly beloved, lettuce spray"

I wish to go for a walk without sneezing and itching from pollen.

Granted, you are marked up with indelible ink in feet and inches and in centimetres and everyone in the world uses you as their ruler.

I wish for a chocolate cream éclair.

omg, me too. Granted, you receive a chocolate cream éclair, and gallantly share it with me.

I wish I knew how to tango. And had a tall partner to tango with.

Granted, it turns out your partner is 10 feet tall and he always steps on your feet.

I wish I could go to Italy and actually know italian.

Granted. You go to Italy speaking 10th-century Italian and no one can understand you.

I wish I lived where I could have sheep to mow my lawn.....