Corrupt A Wish

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Granted but it turns out to be well-equipped for people living in the middle ages and not for people living in the 21st century.

I wish that Stravinsky had composed at least one prequel/sequel to the Rite of Spring, despite all the public's complaints about the ballet.

Granted but he went deaf and blind by some weird UFO landing above his study and it sounded like modern day techno

I wish my life was simple

Granted, you are now in a vegetative state in a hospital bed. Can't get any simpler.

I wish for a new hat.

Granted, it is the amazing NEW self reproducing hat...and it produces 1000 new offspring daily

I wish for a full moon every night for a year.

Granted. And we all get eaten by werewolves, and it's all the fault of you and your imprudent wish!

I wish I lived in walking distance of a swimmable body of water.

Granted, you are transported to a small desert island by helicopter...and you have to swim to catch fish by hand

I wish for a dancing parade monkey

Granted, you are now a Gypsy living in 1884 Russia.

I wish I could stuff myself silly with some chocolate cream pie.

Granted, you can stuff it in your ears and nose, but not your mouth because stuffing it in your mouth wouldn't be silly, silly!

I wish today & tomorrow's weather weren't so hot that Thursday's projected high of 92F (33C) looks cool in comparison.

Granted, but a freak July blizzard is expected due to the onset of the next ice age

I wish for the never ending ink cartrage

Granted; unfortunately it doesn't work on ordinary printer paper, you have to buy special paper that costs $150/ream.

I wish young Rafael would quit trying to convert me to Mormonism.

Granted, you are now converted to being a Muslim!

I wish the Jehovah's Witnesses never came to pester me with their primitive beliefs.

Granted, butnow youare one of them!

I wish I was Death/the Grim Reaper

Granted, but first you have to be dead yourself and go on a 2000 year training course in hell on how to reap souls - but you do get to learn to play chess very well, so it isn't all bad.

I wish for a glass of water. What could possibly go wrong with that?

Granted, however someone put that glass of water into the freezer, and the glass shatters due to expansion of water.

I wish for a device that would keep me and the computer at the optimal temperature.

Granted. We call it an "air conditioner".

I wish the air conditioner were in some other window, not blowing directly on me while I'm at the computer.

Granted, it's in the upstairs window, but falls out and now you have no air conditioner!

I wish I had nice, strong wings to carry me long distances, rather than paying some airline's stupid baggage fees and such.