Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, your strawberries de-mould the powder.

I wish for massive amounts of whipped cream to put on top of my cayenne pepper crepes with cayenne pepper maple syrup.

Granted, It's whipped 'Cream...of Tartar'. It's been whipped by a man with an actual bull whip.

I wish my mouldy fossilized strawberries were put in the Hadron collider just to see what happens (it might take the mould off?)

Granted, your mouldy fossilized strawberries sit in the Hadron collider. the mould decomposes it into dirt.

I wish I had a cherry on top of my cayenne pepper crepes with cayenne pepper maple syrup with cream of tartar cream which has been whipped with an actual bull whip. One that isn't dyed red and injected with all that yucky stuff.

Granted, the Cherry is a cherry bomb..with a lit fuse that has 3mm left to burn

I wish my fossilised mouldy Strawberry dust sitting in the Hadron Collider could be swept up, frozen and turned into a tasty ice-block.

Your fossilized mouldy strawberry dust is swept up and combined with "the taste of real strawberry juice" and frozen to create a tasty ice-block popsicle.

I wish I had a hot female waitress to serve me my cayenne crepe with cayenne maple syrup with tarter bull whipped cream with a cherry bomb on top.

You have a hot waitress, she is made of fire and also eats all of the Cayenne crepes with the cayenne maple syrup with tarter bull whipped cream with an exploding cherry because she likes hot stuff.

I wish my popsicle didn't taste like it had been through so many bad experiences.

Granted. It also has a childhood trauma, making it comparatively not so bad.

~

I wish for that hot female waitress to cool down.

The hot waitress cools way down, and is frozen in a block of ice.

I wish I had some nachos.

Granted. It are nachos from beyond the grave and start eating you, oh and the guacamole and cheese dip -- Zombie Nachos love cheeeesssseee.

~

I wish for some fries drowned in mayonaise

Granted. The fries are not just drowned in mayonnaise, they are overflowing with mayo. In fact, there is so much mayo, that you can't find the fries.

I wish that 2+2 = 5

Granted, the fries are at the bottom of a twenty metre deep well of mayonnaise. You need diving gear to "swim" down to them. Precisely how you eat them when you get there I leave up to you!

I wish for some good old English fish, chips and mushy peas.

Granted, but she gets a puncture!

I wish I could speak fluent French.

Granted, but you forget how to speak English.

i wish that I could eat lunch again.

Granted. You reguretate your previous lunch, yummy!

~

I wish for a girlfriend who isn't punctured!

Granted! No corruption advised.

I wish for a girlfriend who will love me, so I can love her back.