Corrupt A Wish

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granted, the first day you get unexpected calls from 10 men claiming to be your sons and demanding financial aid.

I wish for a supper that will cook by itself.

Granted. These surprises include an accident that leaves you blind and paralysed, outbreak of WW3, and you being robbed of all your valuables.

I wish for a pet rabbit.

Looks like I need to combine both the above so:

Granted, you receive a rabbit that turns on the oven and climbs into it on a baking tray!

I wish for a bunny boiler.

granted, you receive a boiler made out of bunny fur.

I wish for a homework that will made itself by itself.

Granted, your computer gets a virus and it does your homework for you but inserts lots of adverts for cheap viagra between every paragraph.

I wish for a new broom

Granted, but it's faulty and YOU FAIL!

I wish for an extra pair of hands.

(Edit: This was a response to Booyakasha.)

Granted but its new additional features cause you flatulence in both directions.

I wish for new chop sticks.

Granted, but a Chinese man keeps following you around asking why you stole his chop sticks.

I wish I could eat my supper as fast as Booyakasha!

Hehe yes, I might have broken a new record. Your wish is granted, but then you have to do all the homework for me.

I wish for a never-ending story.

Granted, but the laws of physics then just happen to experience a temporary fault, and you find yourself stuck inside the story.... FOREVER!

I wish for more hours in the day.

Granted, you are now stuck in ground-hog day.

I wish I could find the power switch on this broom.

Sorry, this is a power switch-less broom.

I wish I could meet commander Data.

Will I do? I'm his evil brother.

I wish I could meet Madame Spock!

Granted. She is from an alternate universe and takes you back to do her laundry.

I wish that I could meet Dax.

I don't know what im granting.

(See above)