Corrupt A Wish

Post Reply New Topic

Granted; because it's too early for Christmas, you bring home nothing.

I wish I have some money to do my Christmas shopping.

Granted, you have your money though it was soon robbed by a man dressed as Pingu and couldn't stop him as his partners in crime pounced on you.
I wish my legs were able to go through a lot of exercise.

Granted, but every other part of your body will suffer twice the pain that the legs would have received from the exercise.

I wish for 1 mole of all the naturally occurring elements.

Granted; all elements will be available in a one-mole sample; that's around 0.01mol per element.

I wish for a moneybag.

Granted, you have a bag with money in it. Unfortunately, a random person swipes it, leaving you with no extra funds.

I wish I had a 458 Italia.

Granted; it arrives to you dilapidated and non-functional.

I wish for a job that I really like and pays high.

Granted. It only lasts for 1 hour per year, though, so you will need to take a low-paying job that you hate for the rest of the time.

I wish that this weekend was just getting started.

Granted; the weekend shall end as soon as it started.

I wish someone from Wrong Planet travels right now and visits me in my home.

Granted. In fact a lot of someones visit you, until you wish for peace and quiet.

I wish for someone else to do my paperwork for me.

Granted. Your shredder is more than happy to oblige.

I wish I could internalize the concept of friendship excluding mere discussions of common special interests.

Granted; you internalize the concept only. Not the practice.

I wish that the caffeine would wear off immediately so I can go to sleep.

Granted. You just decide not to sleep.

I wish people would be perfectly good.

Granted; everyone is perfectly good, but you are perfectly evil, and everyone despises you.

I wish for a full breakfast.

Granted. It is so full (of holes), it happens to be shaped as the perfect Sierpinski Tetrahedron and practically does not exist.
(I said everyone, not everyone else!)
I wish for an exact clone, right down to the wave-functions of me at the moment when I type the period at the end of the sentence (no evil clones, because the clone would process exactly the same way I would) translated five feet in the dorsal direction.

CORRECTION:
Original: "...transformed five feet..."
Revision: "...translated five feet..."

Granted; that clone will supplant and outdo whatever you are currently doing, to the point it actually overshadows you and leaving you out of the limelight.

I wish I could be the most powerful and richest person ever to walk on this planet.

But that is a good thing. Nothing is better than a future of quiet research in an isolated cottage (and that verb should not be a participle).



Granted. There is hyperinflation and the truly wealthy and powerful are the second-generation space babies who have found another gold source.