Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You're TOLD you're not in trouble, when in actual fact you ARE and receive punishment accordingly.

I wish that it will be nicer weather next summer.

Granted. Nice weather is subjective, so I hope you like my version of nice weather (give you a hint: I live in Canada, and I like winter weather far more than summer weather)

I wish for a cup of coffee

Granted. But I hate coffee and don't know how to make it so I hope you like my version of what goes into a cuppa.

I wish I could freeze time.

Granted, but you can't re-start it. You are now stuck at this exact moment in time for all eternity.

I wish I had a million dollars

Granted. You receive a million dollars. Regrettably these dollars are the proceeds of a bank raid which have been stained using anti-theft ink meaning you cannot spend them.

I wish for a wallet that refills itself daily with legal, spendable English £20 notes. (no mickey mouse Scottish or Manx money tyvm!)

Granted. But everyone else also gets one. The unrestrained production of cash ruins the economy.

I wish people would fart in big rainbows of vivid, ugly colors whenever they lied, so that they could be easily identified by others.

Granted. You are then revealed to be a chronic liar, and everybody you know turns against you

I wish that I didn't have to go to work early tomorrow morning

Granted. You have been fired from your job and don't ever have to go to work again.

I wish my plectrums wouldn't go missing all the time.

Granted! You now have pink plectrums permanetly plastered to your pinkies.


I wish I lived in the mountains.

Granted! You now live at the peak of K2.

I wish my neck pain would go away.

Granted, the pain moves to to your head and become more severe.

I wish pigs could fly.

Granted. The pigs fly above your head and poo on it.

I wish my pizza would arrive right this instant.

Granted. However, it hasn't been cooked yet.

I wish someone would give me a new car

Granted. And now the police are at your door, wanting to know how you got this stolen vehicle.

I wish I didn't have to deal with such a long-term house guest... again and again and again...

Granted though this time they stay permanently so they are no longer a house guest.

I wish for peacock feathers.

Granted. They are growing out of your nose.

I wish for some postage stamps.