Corrupt A Wish

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Unfortunately the wish fairy thought you said doll hairs and now they've clogged the sweeper.

I wish I had a million doll hairs.

Granted. They are all in your living room, blocking off everything there.

I wish insects weren't attracted to me and my blood.

Granted.

The Wish Fairy Of Stone has turned you into a statue.

I wish I had a big Dragon Statue for my yard.


Sylkat

Granted. It's made out of a real dragon. Who's still alive. And breathes fire.

Oops, I think he may have just burned down your house...

I wish for a lifetime supply of free coffee

Granted. You are now homeless and living in a dumpster outside a Tim Hortons. You scrounge up enough discarded coffee cups with small amounts of leftover coffee to make yourself a cup each day (FREE!! !), while you live out the rest of your days in the dumpster.

I wish I had more friends on facebook.

(PS: Are those full stops at the end of some of your sentences, Canaspie? No, really? )

Granted. (Does this one even need to be corrupted? There's so many ways it could just go wrong on its own!) But it has that disgusting after-taste of really bad coffee that tingles and burns on the tongue and makes you shudder at the thought of a sip.

I wish for an antidote to caffeine that's not bad for my health, so that I can drink good coffee all day and not have insomnia at night.

I wish for an antidote to caffeine that's not bad for my health, so that I can drink good coffee all day and not have insomnia at night

Granted. Unfortunately the antidote has the unpleasant side effect of causing rapid hair growth on your elbows.


I wish I had more friends on facebook

Granted.
Now everyone in the world is friends with you on Facebook, and the all try to get you to visit their Farmville farms everyday.

I wish I could play the banjo.

Granted. But you will be followed by flocks of folk dancers where ever you go.

I wish I could run as fast as a car while holding as much shopping as fits in a car boot.

Granted.
You gain all of the superpowers of Superman.
But your weakness isn't kryptonite, it's oxygen.

I wish I had 20/20 vision.

Granted.
You will have 20/20 vision, but every direction you look will be plunged into darkness.

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

Granted.
You no longer need sleep, but now you have to eat 77 times a day to keep from shriveling up (due to all the extra action your body gets).

I wish that wishes were horses.

Granted. Since people are always wishing things all the time, the world experiences a population explosion of horses and they eat up everyone's food,the streets are no longer possible to move in for manure, and no other animals can survive. Horses take over the world and declare war on the remaining humans for making their ancestors being ridden into battle.

I wish I had a never ending cache of chocolate.

Granted.
Now everything you ever touch again will turn to chocolate.
I wish I had two cents to rub together.

Granted. You rub them together so much that their imageg rub away and you are now holding 2 worthless discs.

I wish to win on Jeopardy.

Granted but you only win a worthless piece of corn

I wish I could flyyyyy

Granted you become a fly which is quickly swatted.

I wish time wouldn't rush by so quickly.