Epic Battle

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This will be an epic free-for-all roleplay battle between the forum browsers on this site. Chose a weapon, a target, and an attack, and start. There is no health and this is just for fun.

[Awesome! ]
After three weeks of traveling I had arrived to the specified location the letter depicted. Valley of the Gods. The reason I got invited was the mysterious letter in my hand. "You have been selectively chosen for a free for fall battle between the greatest warriors and socerers of our time. Every one who is at Valley of the Gods in approximately three weeks time will have a chance to win a prize. The prize is glory and money beyond your wildest imagination. Now it is up to you, will you participate? If, so may the gods smile upon you. Good luck."
That is all the letter depicted. Then a woman came into my view. She appeared woefully unprepared for her fate with no obvious weapons. With my katana in hand, I made a slide ways slash for the neck, and then....

Then I smacked you with my purse (Coach, by the way), for you knocked my lunch on the ground.

You owe me a new Crab Louie Salad.

As I approach you to demand to be taken to the nearest delicatessen, I hear something, turn, and see.......

A sheep... running towards you, and occasionally doing an enthusiastic bounce.
When the sheep gets quite close, it suddenly explodes..... causing full-body fourth-degree burns.

"Oh God, this is outta hand already"
I take my flaming sword and strike at Ladywoofwoof.

Whose tentacles give you such a slap upside the head!

And then she starts with the insults regarding your mother, your great-aunts, and that mysterious 'uncle' they always kept in the attic and no one outside the family ever saw.

And then she pulls her ever-present pancake spatula out of her purse (Gucci, of course), and then she.......

Looks on in shock as I cut the spatula in half.

At which point Martha Stewart suddenly materializes and scolds you...."That is no way to treat good quality kitchen implements!"

She then tries to sell you a set of high priced Martha Stewart brand spatulas.

She reaches into her purse ( Prada, of course), and hands you a brochure for her new pancake cookbook!


Offended, you quickly fold the brochure into a paper airplane, and then you......

Call upon the epic knight Beppieiscool to help me fight as I throw the plane at martha!! !

In an undisclosed location, a tiny werewolf watches the events unfold and pray that nobody gets hurt.

The tiny werewolf violently metamorphosizes into the Evil Alter Ego of Paul Prudhomme, who snarls'No one sells name brand spatulas on WrongPlanet but me!"

And rushes into the fray, swinging a large pot of File Gumbo With Extra Shrimp; which adds to the second degree burns previously documented by Lady WoofWoof.

Suddenly, a swooping paper airplane, smeared with Gumbo lands on the nose of.......

..... Beppieiscool, who [having seen how quickly this escalated] has been rather wisely hiding behind a rock.

They jump up with shock when the paper 'plane hits them, which leaves them directly in the path of a small meteor (fired from an Ultra Meteor Gun) that explodes on impact.... meaning that now they are covered in fourth degree burns as well.



( Did you really just use me as a weapon ? LOL ! !!)

Martha Stewart rushes about, frantically gathering small flaming bits of the fragmented meteorite, murmuring in her 'Martha The Craft Teacher' voice:

"If you collect your meteor pieces while they are still hot, they can be used to create a charming holiday wreath!"

Chef Paul throws a bit of okra (from his gumbo) at her head, and LadyWoofWoof, considering the well-paying career in journalism in her future, videotapes as much of the appalling hostilities as she can.

She is somewhat displeased when.......

A voice thunders out of the darkness...."Stop this foolishness at once. This is not time for the making of wreaths and gumbo. Besides those purses are counterfeits...and so is that Martha! I have the real Martha held captive making one of a kind homemade beeswax candles. If you have received a letter calling you here...step forward!"

All sound stops and out of the silence....

.. a distinct bleeping is heard.
It appears to be coming from near Nymeria.

Following the sound, Nymeria finds a seemingly harmless bracelet..... the bleeping continues....

Suddenly the first Johto Elite Four member, Will, is ticked off from the beeping. He sends out all his Pokemon, pulls out a Sword Pokemon named Honedge, and chargers the beeping noise.