Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but you are unable to think about anything else.

I wish for no more nuisance telephone calls from sales people.

Granted, but you are inundated with sales people coming to the door.

I wish my family had been able to book a motel for our vacation.

Granted, you have been booked into the Bates Motel.

I wish it rains on my garden tonight.

Granted, but in the morning you go out to check on your garden and get struck by lightning.

I wish the radio would only play songs I like.

Granted, but it keeps blowing all the fuses in your house, leaving everyone in darkness.

I wish for a new car.

Granted, but it's an ancient Model T.

I wish I had more clothes.

Granted, but they are all two sizes too small for you.

I wish to watch a movie on TV now.

Granted, but it was voted "Worst Movie Ever" by several reputable sources.

I wish for a unicorn.

Granted, but after a freak accident you are impaled on its horn.

I wish for a pet aardvark.

Granted, you have a giant aardvark. You're about the size of an ant to it.

I wish my computer would always be fast.

Granted, it has sprouted legs and run away.

I wish for a bigger monitor.

Granted, but you are taken into an alternate reality where every human has turned into a scrooge that hates anybody and everybody.

I wish for a shiny Banette in pokemon Black.

Granted, but it enters the real world and eats you.

I wish I could go on vacation somewhere awesome.

Granted, but a hurricane hits the day get there.

I wish the world had unlimited resources.

Granted, but it is your responsibility to personally mine all of them, using only a teaspoon.

I wish for a sunny day tomorrow.

Granted but we have a heat wave coming....

I wish for a new motorized bicycle..