Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You can now survive on two hours of sleep a night. However, you are now (more) crazy than ever, and start a killing spree. The end result is you become locked up, and may not even pass the time by sleeping.

I wish that smiles came more naturally.

granted. but you are naturally inclined toward frowning

I wish for some grusome, unspeakable things be done to me. Which for some people are to twisted to write/describe in this thread.

granted, they are done by beteljuice

I wish that chocolate made people thin

Granted. Now chocolate makes people lose weight. All chocoholics now become anorexic. Eventually, chocolate becomes banned for health reasons. Airport security now carries chocolate detectors in addition to their metal detectors, and the explosive and drug sniffing dogs are trained to smell chocolate as well. All the major plantations of chocolate beans are put to flame. Gradualy, the chocolate plant becomes endagered, and eventualy, extinct.

I wish I had the ability to become invisible.

lol granted but now no one knows of your existance...

I wish I had my own accessible gateway to a mystical world of strange fantasy.

granted. but they're the fantacies of a deranged MPD, schizophrenic with a pencil fixation.

I wish I made as much money as Bill Gates pays in taxes.

Granted. However, you will be charged the same in taxes as Bill Gates, thus leaving you with no extra funds.

I wish that I had telekenisis.

Granted, but you will hear everyone in the world's mind at once and have a nervous breakdown and say "The voices... THE VOICES!!"

I wish that money didn't exist and we could get what ever we want for free.

Granted, but without money nobody works so nobody makes anything to get for free.

I wish they would replace Tony Kornheiser with Barney the purple dinosaur as announcer on Monday Night Football.

Granted. However, the rediculous antics of Barney turn the American public from football in every increasing droves. Eventually, the football fields are used for Ulitamate Frisbee competitions. The sports watching American instead turns to a real sport, hockey.

I wish that I had a blueberry tea.

Granted, but someone threw up in it.

I wish I could meet Drew Carey...

Granted, but he likes you so much it's impossible to get rid of him. He never leaves you alone, and slowly drives you insane.

I wish winter would go away and never come back.

Granted but this causes devastating effects to our climate...
I wish I was unbreakable lol.

Granted, but you are also paralysed.

I wish that I had my own army of killdozers.