Talk in Panto Rhyme / Rupert the Bear doggerel

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And so I come our tale to tell:
This Aspie thing is going well.
Will one and all please join the game,
With Emmy, Tea, and Whathisname?



Now we can form a merry gang
Where puns are dropped with many a clang.
There's no need to take off your clothes;
Just speak the rhyme the public loathes.

I fear that none may heed my words;
They're flirting with some naked birds.
They all prefer a saucy tit
To taking time to use their wit.



What Dawn through yonder window breaks?
This rhyme is full of odd mistakes.
I still don't know what it's about;
Can any poets clear my doubt?

No soul has come to share the chance
To lead us in a merry dance.
And so I fear I must retire
Before my heated loins expire.

*waves away all the confused idiots and waits for a kindred spirit to notice*

If you want to join in but don't know how, you can say something randomly flirtatious or ask a question and have it turned into doggerel.

The service is free.

"all_white, what exactly are "heated loins?"

More on this point I cannot say;
The mods would send me right away.
It's only meant for adult ears;
Not suited to those Little Dears.

My viewers now are sixty-three;
Not one of them has stayed for tea.
One of them must be a poet
But doesn't have the balls to show it.



If poet number sixty-nine
Thinks I am his, and he is mine
Perhaps he'd care to raise his hand
To prove that people understand?



I'll have to take a long, cold shower;
My words still lack the drawing power
Of posing in your underwear
To show the world your arse is bare.

That...was awesome.

I'm not a poet though. *facepalm*

What dame now stands amongst our clan?
I'll rhyme her words as best I can.
She fears she lacks my merry heart;
Her poetry would be a fart.

You wanna write a limerick?? I'll start:

There once was a girl dressed in white
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Who'd been on this forum all night.

She waited in vain
It's a bit of a pain
When you've started, and don't finish right.

No one liked my Rupert doggerel. Limericks were a better idea...

There once was a dazzling blonde
Who'd travelled all over le monde.
She showed all her bits
Right down to her tits
To people from over the pond. 

(To the blonde: no offense meant. I'll do me, now, to get your own back for you).

There once was a straight-laced young maid
Who never let people get laid. 
She blushed to the last
When people pushed past
And scolded the things that they said. 

Now Grisha:

There once was a chap from LA
Who wanted a roll in the hay. 
When everyone heard
He wanted a bird
The donkeys all started to bray. 

Now Em:

There once was a chirpy young lass
Who drew the admirers en-masse. 
She flirted all day
Coz she knew what to say
And did it with tolerable class. 

Now MidlifeAspie:

There once was a suffering mod
Who followed the steps that we trod. 
That poor mother hen
Would warn us again
That the peas shouldn't fight in the pod. 

There once was a fellow called Lecks
Who hadn't yet shown us his pecs. 
He still loved to drool
Like a lad straight from school
And he told us he hated his ex. 

(Did he? I'm not sure about that last part. I needed a rhyme).

Now Emuman100:

There once was a huggable guy
Who was still unbelievably shy. 
I told him his face
Was winning the race
And it seems he still didn't know why. 

Now Erisad:

There once was a lovely young girl
Who sometimes would give us a twirl. 
She thought she was fat
But we all knew that that
Was a lie: she was just like a pearl. 

Now MCalavara. 

There once was a hunky young bloke
Who told me a wonderful joke. 
He asked me to sing
Then gave me a ring
And departed in billows of smoke. 

(Not literally. I just mean we got engaged, and then he ran away. 

I think that's a bad sign).

I think that's about it. I do know more people on here, but I don't know enough about them yet to make up a limerick about them. 

OK , here's yours.

There once was a lady in white
Who typed on the forum all night
She turned up her nose
At the drabness of prose
For poetry was her delight.

OK, now you:

There once was a poet I knew;
It seemed we were only but two.
But we did a high five
As we brainstormed it live
And I'm glad that my helper is you.

Now Wrong Planet:

There once was a planet all wrong
Where the Aspies were singing their song.
It only made sense
On their side of the fence
Where NTs are not part of the throng.

(OK; I know there are NTs here, and we get along just fine. Again, I needed a rhyme).

OK, let's see who can come up with one for Professor X!

Who is he/she? Do I know him/her? I don't. You'd better write it.

There once was a master called X
I'm really not sure of their sex...

Over to you.