Corrupt A Wish

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Granted: My uncle sells you his pig farm from which he receives $75,000/year from the Gov't to NOT to raise pigs.. (long story)


I wish I wasn't so bored...

Awesome -- I'll take it! I'd be happy to raise ducks, or goats, or apples, or honeybees. Whatever. Just get me out of the job market and out of the city!

OK ... not bored ... jeez, how can you be bored when your next-door neighbor's house is burning down??

I wish this cold would go away altogether (instead, one symptom starts to pass and another starts up)

Granted: A meteorite crashes through your roof bringing with it an alien fungus which while it cures your cold for good, it makes oxygen toxic to your new system.. forcing you to live in a suit breathing only methane.. (another downside, whenever anyone passes gas, they accuse you of having a leak..)


I wish I could store extra time for use later..

Granted, but your extra time was used up by an annoying animosity.

I wish I could find a non-glitched Missingno. in Pokemon...

granted... sorta.. Missingno by nature IS a glitch.. or a glitch preventer of sorts Click here for capture info


I wish People would leave me alone for a few hours

granted. but in those few hours you start choking on a peanut and no one is there to help you... you die.

I wish I never had to work another day in my life and live financially comfortable.

Granted: You win a huge lawsuit after being subjected to an experimental psychological procedure that leaves you incapable of defending yourself against the subsequent beatings you receive from your former friends and some homeless men...



I wish they would re-release "A Clockwork Orange", digitally remastered and in 3D...

Granted, but it's prohibitively expensive.

I wish all the J-pop I like were in the public domain.

Granted. Japanese soda is now public domain.

I wish there was less slang in the English Language.

Granted. The government passes a law indicating that you must speak from a prohibitively simple list of words (I, go, he, store, dog, drink). You accidentally say "cola" instead of "soda" the first day that the law is in effect, and are publically shot as an example.

I wish to take Aaron Zhao as my boyfriend, overcoming my Aspergers, and I wish for us to stay together happily for at least 6 months.

Granted, and in the 7th month he brutally murders you!

I wish for a small bill tomorrow when I take my car in for service.

Granted, your $200,000 invoice will be printed on a tic tac.

I wish someone would do my end of year exams for me.

Granted! But they get every question wrong and you fail college and have to live by doing odd jobs.

I wish The Simpsons Universe were really real in real life.

Granted, you move in next door to the Simpsons and Bart keeps breaking your windows.

I wish it was tomorrow yesterday.

Granted and now today is the day after tomorrow.

I wish everyday was like today?

_________________
Blint.

Granted, but today turns out to be the worst day of your life.

I wish for a good nights sleep.