Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You are nice but you wish to be evil.

I wish God turns out to be the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Granted. He is the flying spaghetti monster in your dreams. After that dream you wake up and realize you don't have spaghetti.

I wish I could live in Jamaica.

Granted: you wake up broke and hungover on the beach near Kingston, being jabbed awake by a dredlocked windsurfing instructor named Gotte, you realize you missed your flight and are stuck penniless.. Gotte takes you to stay with him and his 9 kids and wife who live in a corrigated tin one room house way back in the hills till you can get money to get home...(lol happened to me, not as fun as it sounds)

I wish I could get a job where I could go to sea again..

Granted. But everyone speaks the same language with the same inflection / accent and has the same color skin, hair and eyes. There is no diversity.


I wish for a "normal" day.

Granted: you wake up as a clone on a planet of clones all identical doing identical things..everyone speaks the same language with the same inflection / accent and has the same color skin, hair and eyes. There is no diversity. Everyone is "normal"




I wish there was a clearly defined "normal"

Granted. Normal is now clearly defined and is in the the LAW. All who do not fit into these parameters are hunted down and put into weirdo camps. You are among them.


I wish I could control Death for a day

Granted. On exception of the things he doesn't want to do. As exchange for his services he sends you on an 'early departure'.

I wish the world as in '1984' by George Orwell will never happen.

Granted. Everything is illegal, except for that one divide by zero.

I wish I could ドリル. Either that or ホバー.

You are free to make characters such as those in any number of computer programs, including but not limited to Adobe Illustrator. Unfortunately, you'll have no idea what they mean.

I want to fly on the Vomit Comet!

Granted: You ride on the comet as it is set on a crash course to earth. It plunges into the sea and unfortunately, it takes you down with it.

I wish I could play in the NFL (National Football League).

Granted: however on your first time taking the field, you run into the Buc's newest defensive lineman "Mongo" who is 7.5 feet tall weighing in at 550 lbs ... it takes them 30 minutes and about a few dozen reviews of the instant replay to locate your body after the play....

I wish every time I reached in my pocket I pulled out a genuine $100.00 bill

Granted, but it's counterfeit and you now have to spend a lot of time talking with the police.


I wish women were not so complicated.

Granted: poof! Women are now simple and not unlike sheep... eat sleep poop and make little sheep... but after a week the novelty wears off and men find themselves exhausted from herding women out of the road so they can go someplace and having to work multiple jobs to feed their flock...


I wish I was more optimistic

Granted. You are now more optimistic, as you are a TV Evangelist. But now everyone hates you and calls you a con man.

I wish I could go back and forth through time and not disrupt it's flow. ANd have the ability to control it.

Granted. You use your powers to send yourself to the future. When you arrived, you find out that you're a wanted fugitive with a million dollar reward on your head. You tried to send yourself back, but cops from the future also have the ability to control time. They freeze time on you and they strip you of your powers, so you are stuck in the future forever.

I wish that technology wasn't so complicated.