Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. Technology is no longer complicated. Your dinner is running wild in the woods. Your cooker consists of some sticks in the forest and some rocks to bash together to light them.

I wish to never need to go to the dentist again.

Granted. Who needs a dentist when you got no teeth?

I wish Atlantis was found.

Granted, but after the researchers sober up they find they've lost it again.

I wish my pet kangaroo didn't keep stealing all the cherries off my tree.

Granted, but you picked your cherries and realized they don't really taste that good.

I wish that today was like everyday (I had such an amazing day).

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Blint.

Granted. Tree eats pet kangaroo, uses it as fertilizer.

I wish Autism Speaks had a more positive attitude towards autism.

Granted: they launch a massive campaign to standarize and alter the human genome so that everyone can be on the spectrum!

I wish for one day (only one) that I knew my exact place in the universe..

Granted: Your exact place in the universe is somewhere out there in the vast nothingness of space.

I wish I was good at playing guitar.

Granted, but not in any of the genres you actually like.

I wish 2011 will be a much better year for me than 2010 has been.

Granted, but through the magic of Christmas... at 11:59 pm on Dec 31st 2011, time will roll-back to 11:59pm Dec 31st 2009.

I wish I knew knew that custom rank to use in a few posts.

Granted: the custom rank is "99th".

I wish for a good job, a nice place to live, and a reliable car, all by next month.

Granted, but everything else completely falls apart within the week

I wish the IB was easy

Granted. Since I don't know what you mean with IB, your vital organs are revoked for making IB easy.

I wish everyone had a absolute equal amount of common sense.

Granted. Everything is common.

I wish I were IN ME POWER~

Granted: however, in getting your wish you are transported to a universe where at any time a 6 oz mouse can drop a 500 lb anvil on your head.. (but you play a mean acoustic bass.."Is you is or is you ain't my baby...")



I wish everyone would just be nice to each other for a change!

Granted, everyone is now your best friend and is so nice they all want to visit you all the time and chatter away with small talk endlessly.

I wish my dog would stop farting.

Granted. Your dog swells up like a balloon, expanding little by little over due time turning into gastrointestinal timebomb. The last thing before you leave the physical realm is liting your cigarette and an uneased look on your dogs face...

I wish I am physically forever fit at the age of 21 years.