Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. The front of your thighs are now covered in smooth baby-soft skin.

I wish for a place to be named in my honour.

Granted. Psiri is the new name of the city located at these coordinates:
Latitude (DMS): 51° 16' 0 N
Longitude (DMS): 30° 13' 60 E


I wish that I could communicate to trees.

Granted. The the trees are only interested in celebrity gossip and pop music.

I wish Michigan was less cold.

Granted, Michigan is now warm however it got too hot that not even a living being could handle the intense heat.

I wish that I could be good as Stevie Wonder?

Granted. The talents of Stevie Wonder are reduced to your level.

I wish my dog slobbered less.

Granted. Now he involuntarily urinates to compensate.

I wish we had talent schools in every country

Granted; every country has schools to nurture talents such as: making farting noises with your hand in your underarm; making old pennies shine like new; coloring inside the lines; and hopping on one foot.

I wish the storage place had been open today so I could have unloaded the first truckload.

Granted. It was, they pulled a prank on you.

I wish my roommates weren't so lazy

Granted. They're all coked up and randomly hyper.

I wish I could drink unlimited wine without getting drunk or hungover, and eat unlimited chocolate without getting fat.

Granted, but you don't have an infinite amount of money to pay for all of your wine and chocolate, so you go bankrupt.

I wish that everyone had an Internet connection.

granted but every network is so slow from world usage that it makes dial-up look like broadband

i wish for a good conversation with someone about a topic of my choice

Granted, now you get to a interesting conversation with a person of their choice, simples.
However, the person eventually got bored and wanted to change subjects.


I wish it was tomorrow already?

Granted. Unfortunately you've skipped right past the lottery drawing you would have won tonight.

I wish I had the energy....

Wish granted. You have The Energy. The Energy consumes you. You are one with The Energy. The Energy wants toast.

I wish I had my own laughtrack and musical cues.

Granted. Unfortunately they're out of sync with your routine.

I wish moving weren't such a pain in the neck.

Granted: To ease the burden of moving, the movers decided to leave most of your stuff behind and you would have no choice but to accept. When you get to your new home, you will be left with some food, a blanket, and a couch.

I wish that I didn't have to get up at 5:40 am every morning.